Archive for the ‘Clarkette’ Category

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What most people don’t know about the ancient Egyptians, is that they were very good at fixing computers.

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And Clark is the most interesting heir ever. Write, writer, write! WRITE WRITE WRITE!

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Beef Supreme finally decides to get healthy, so she goes jogging. Seems like only yesterday she was passing out playing tag.

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And a little swimming as well.

B.S.: I don’t want to be a funny looking ghost.

Isn’t there an easier way?

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B.S.: I completely forgot we had this.

Probably because you lost interest once you found out it wasn’t a giant hot dog maker.

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Well, that’s better, but still…

B.S.: Yeah, I still look like a mummy.

Speaking of mummies, what is Harley up to?

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Now that he has a bit of handiness, Harley decided to just randomly beat on things with a hammer just to see what happens.

Harley: Tinker.. TINKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beef will kill you if you break her food replicator.

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She’s got other things on her mind right now though.

B.S.: Basically, I just don’t want to look like a mummy.

Stylist: So, like a new hairstyle?

B.S.: No. No. My face.

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Stylist: Paisley really suits you.

B.S.: NO NO NO! YOU DID NOTHING FOR MY FACE AT ALL.

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Stylist: Do you like flowers better?

B. S.: Dammit, just give me the makeup.

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B.S.: Finally! I look like a normal person.

I think you overdid the makeup.

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B.S.: What do you mean?

Stylist: How about this dress?

B.S.: Fine, fine, I’ll take it.

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I guess you were just getting gussied up to have a date with Death!

B.S.: Story of my life.

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Death: I’M SORRY I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE BEEF SUPREME KENT, HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

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B.S.: I’m right here, I had some work done.

Darlene: Ow, your scythe is in my eye.

Clark: I need to get back to my writing. Bye Mom!

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Darlene: So, you just take everyone eventually?

Death: USUALLY WHILE THEY SLEEP. WELL, GOOD NIGHT!

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Darlene: I think we should have another baby. I mean, life is pretty short.

Clark: It might make a good book!

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Darlene: I’m not in the mood anymore.

Clark: What’d I say?

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While everyone else went right back to normal, I took care of burying my first legacy born sim.  I guess I should have held a funeral, I’m a bad simmer.

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Darlene: Look, I’m not having a baby just for you to write a book about.

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Clark: Not even on a DARE?

Darlene: You know me too well.

Actually, he doesn’t, which is why it took three tries to get the couple to woohoo. They were practically strangers with Clark hiding behind the PC all the time. I told you, I’m a bad simmer.

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Harley: BANG BANG BANG!

EA is so accurate on their skill learning.

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Ethan: Why am I gardening?

You wanted to be a Creature Robot Cross Breeder. The science career needs fishing and gardening.

Ethan: I hate the outdoors.

Oh, I forgot that.

Ethan: And yet you let me lock in an outdoor job. You’re…

I know, I know! I’m a bad simmer!

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Ethan: Fishing is SOOOO much fun! I just LOOOOOOVE it.

You know, I could dump my first born heir rule any time now.

Ethan: Oh no! Then I’d have to move out of the ugliest house in Sunset Valley! How shall I ever cope!

Or I could just go back to playing World of Warcraft and delete this whole thing.

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Ethan: Better get to work fixing this tub so I can be the best scientist ever!

Glad you’re on board.

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Ethan: Awesome! I can read the skills INSIDE!

You might want to keep track of the time though.

Ethan: Nah, thanks to moodlet manager I don’t need to sleep.

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Ethan: I just got arrested.

Cop: You are out past curfew, and are therefore a juvenile delinquent!

Ethan: I was reading. In the library.

Cop: And I can’t think of anything more dangerous.

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Wow, tempting fate, are we?

Ethan: I’m not listening to some Glenn Beck-loving cop.

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Cop: Stop that readin’!

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Darlene: HA! I win the dare!

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Ethan: OK, it’s day time, can I read now?

Cop: Can’t talk now, busy. Hey baby, wanna get down with a cop?

Lady: Get off me! Not only am I married, I’m PREGNANT!

SVPD is by far the worst PD in the country.

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Lady: You’re telling me, look what they did to me when they caught ME reading after curfew!

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Aw, Ethan’s a widdle angel, donating to charity.

Ethan: Shut up.

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Darlene: Baby coming! Where’s my husband?

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You had to ask?

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Darlene: Fine, I’ll just deliver her myself. And name her Charlene.

Quaint.

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And Harley once again becomes the main caregiver of the child.

Harley: Baby. BABBBBYYYYYYYY!

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Harley: Thanks for the pond on the lot, I guess. There’s SOMETHING I can do in the middle of the night with this city’s insane curfew laws.

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Clarkette: Nyah, nyah, I’m an adult and can go anywhere I want at night, including other people’s lots uninvited!

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Wow, sweet wheels, Clark.

Clark: I thought I’d spend all this money before my son gave it all away to charity.

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Clark: Including the biggest underground garage ever.

You’re such a generous guy.

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The garden’s getting rather big.

Ethan: Yeah, but can you do something about these gnomes? They’re freaking me out.

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Ethan fishes so much, he starts skilling it in his sleep. I’m a bug abuser!

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Clark: Woah, what’s going on here?

You just wrote/painted your life away, and now you’re old.

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Clark: Drat.

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Clark: Oh well, back to work!

Most boring sim ever.

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And Ethan finally figures out he can read at home!

Ethan: Shut up, it’s EASIER at the library, that’s all.

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And one more birthday before we go.

Oh, I forgot earlier, Charlene is an absent minded virtuoso.

Harley: Bad simmer! BAD SIMMMM-

I KNOW ALREADY.

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And that’s all for today!

Charlene: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

At least someone is sad when the blog’s over.

Charlene: No, I’m hungry.

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When not hard at work on her books (which is always) Clarkette has taken a new hobby: Fishing. Nice bait Clarkette.

Clarkette: That’s what I just caught…

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Harley and Joey Jr. have formed a duo named the Scarabs and have really been rocking it out for tips.

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Apparently they’re bigger than the Beatles.  Scarabmania!

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The old people, however, just don’t get it. Typical.

Harley: Everybody’s got something to hide, except for me and my mummy!

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Clarkette: Finally, I caught something I can be proud of.

Isn’t it rather dark?

Clarkette: So?

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Clarkette: Crud.

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Dewey: I’m disappointed in you. When you’re supposed to be somewhere, you should be there.

Clarkette: Like you at the game?

Dewey: Hey, I forgot I was supposed to go.

True story. Dewey’s missed like 5 games out of 7 so far. I keep forgetting to send him cause they practically never send a carpool. The Team loses 14-0 every single time. Yet Dewey’s MVP. I guess cause they can’t win without him.

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Clarkette: Screw this, I’m going out to eat. They can’t arrest me twice for the same crime. Double Jeopardy.

That’s not how it works. They don’t arrest her though.

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Dewey gets his lifetime wish!

Dewey: All that skipping work paid off!

This update is full of valuable lessons…

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Harley tries to make friends.

Harley: …and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.

Claire: You ate what?

Harley: We ate sand.

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Claire: You ate SAND?

Harley: That’s right.

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Clarka: Screw writing, I’m gonna become a master inventor.

Malcolm: Is this the house where that scary mummy lady lives?

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Clarka: Oh, crap, where’s the shower?

Inside. But I think you just get singed the first time.

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Clarka: I’m pretty sure that’s not true. You can die the first time.

Really? Let me go look it up.

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Clarka: I DON’T THINK WE HAVE TIME!

Shush, it’ll only take a…

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Clarka: Don’t worry about it, I got it covered.  Hey, this is a lovely shade of orange.

Whoops.

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Clarka Kent was about a week from becoming a YA. She now rests next to her grandparents.

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Joey Jr. took it pretty hard. She had to console herself by having a blast on the trampoline.

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Dewey: Did something happen?

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Raging: So you just go around pickin’ up dead people?

Death: NO JUST THEIR SOULS.

Raging: That’s pretty cool.

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Guys, your sister is dead.

Clarkette: That would make a good Act III.

Clark: Dead sister won’t get this homework done any faster.

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Clark: Yep, knew that wouldn’t fly as a skip school excuse. Glad I did my homework.

Wow, Harley’s a real jerk. Making his son, niece, and nephew all go to school the morning after his niece dies.

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B. S.: While you all were mouring, I went and did something about it.

Clarka: I’m baaack…

Oh, great, another monster in the house. I really should have named this legacy the Addams Family.

Clarka: The Addams Family was just weird. I think you mean The Munsters.

Oh hush, no one likes The Munsters.

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Clarka: Back to inventing.

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Clarka: NOT AGAIN.

You can’t die twice.

Clarka: I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THAT CHANCE, GO GET HELP.

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Harley will save you.

Clarka: Well, I’m doomed then.

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Harley: Help.  HELLP.

Clarka: THEN DO IT ALREADY!

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Luckily, all mummies carry fire extinguishers.

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In honor of all Beef’s rooting through people’s garbage, breaking into their mailboxes, and disguising herself as small shrubbery, the mayor gave her an award.

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Is that a letter opener?

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Beef Supreme is finally becoming an elder.  The Kents decided to have their first huge party in a while. Even Monk and Gurton showed up.

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B. S.: Of course, I’m still a mummy. (sigh)

Blonde Lady: HA HA HA. You’re still funny looking!

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Clarkette: What’s a birthday party without catfish?

Mmmm… Cake and catfish.

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Clarkette is such a natural fisherwoman, she even levels in fishing when she dreams about it.

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Dewey: How come I don’t get a party in the park?

You’re the one who likes staying home so much. Maybe if you went to your games, I’d give you a real party.

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Dewey: Can I retire now?

Sure, but only in the Brett Favre meaning of the word.

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Joey Jr. Breckman is now a Hit Movie Composer.

J. J.: Yep, my score for Saw XIV put me over the top.

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And then, cause I’ve never done it before, I gave her a midlife crisis. She’s now a Born Saleswoman, Natural Cook, Loves the Outdoors, Childish, and Neat.

J. J.: Oh my! This dollhouse is a MESS!

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Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.. the heir is becoming a Young Adult!

Clark: Why don’t I get a party in the…

SHUT UP.

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Control of the household has now passed over to Clark. And his last trait is Evil.

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Now it’s Clarkette’s turn. She even skills up fishing when blowing out candles.

Clarkette: I wish for a fish.

On a dish?

SWISH!

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Clarkette is now a party animal.

Clarkette: And it’s not a party unless you’re in your underwear!

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Raging: I’m scared, what if I turn ugly?

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Raging: I worried for nothing.

Mr. Bull is now a hopeless romantic.

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Clarka: Wait, ghosts can age up too?

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Clarka is now inappropriate.

Clarka: Who invited the help?

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What’s that on the stove?

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Clarka: It’s a detonator.

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The explosion also hit the nursery.

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Yeah, I guess Clarka is a Talking Heads fan.

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Three Hundred Sixty Five Degrees

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

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Even Clarka’s panicking, and she started this whole mess.

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Clarkette: This house is just too crazy for me, me and Raging are moving out.

And so they did, and then story progression made them go steady. First cousins, going steady.

Well, Clarka, I hope you learned your lesson.

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Clarka: Yep, blow stuff up in OTHER people’s houses, not your own.

And that concludes Book Two. Next time we finally start Book Three: Clark Kent.

Sergeant O’Leary is walkin’ the beat, at night he becomes a bartender.

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And that’s what he was doing when Harley the Mummy stole his patrol car.  Darn those kleptomaniac mummies!

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And meanwhile, Beef Supreme has backslid on her hiding skills.  And once again it’s the old people she’s spying on.

Old Man: What do you mean you don’t like Andy Griffith?

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Harley wins Teacher of the Year, probably cause he keeps the kids entertained after school.

Harley: It was a graveyard smash!

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Every morning Harley walks with the kids the mile from the house to the bus stop.

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And then the bus takes off, not bothering to wait for the mummy.  Haven’t we all had those days watching the bus pull away? I always felt they could see me and were laughing.

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Nothing scarier than a teacher in the library!

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Harley: I’m gonna catch that bus next time!

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Should I make this the last of the stakeout shots? They crack me up every time.

Harley’s sister: I think someone’s watching me.

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Last time I mentioned that Clark and Clarka both rolled Illustrious Author.  Well, so did Raging.

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And so did Clarkette.

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And so Clark gets to work as well.

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Clarka also gets to writing. Isn’t this exciting?

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This shot is only to show that J. J. aged up to adult.

J. J.: Aren’t you going to show what I look like after?

Really? You don’t get how this works by now? YOU LOOK THE SAME.

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J. J.: Well, I’m an adult now, so I have to get serious with my skilling.

Adults turn off their cell phones when they’re IN A LIBRARY.

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Dewey was working on his martial arts skills when he got a call to do a skill opportunity.

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Dewey: Get more strength? Piece of cake.

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Dewey: Easiest opportunity ever.

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Clarka decides for her first painting she was going to tackle the hugest canvas she could find.

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That’s kind of impressive.

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Beef finally tops off the Private Investigator career so the town holds a celebration in her honor.  Any words Beef?

B. S.: A SIMBOT!

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Luke: I JUST WANTED TO SAY CONGRATS:(

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J. J.: So, I know that you’re a mummy… but can you…

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Ew…

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LTW updates: Joey Jr. finally made it to the symphonic branch of her career.

J. J.: This dress is so lame.

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And Dewey maxed out athletic.

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Whatever happened to the Transylvanian Twist???

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Suddenly, the whole family upped and moved to Sunset Valley! You know what that means!

Yep, I had like 3 Error Code 12s.

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Clarka: Wow! The bus came right up to our mailbox!

Yes, this is what normal people do who don’t have to create their own lot. Good Riddance, Twinbrook.

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Clarka: I can’t believe I got a boy to take me to his house.

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Probably cause this boy and his family are weirder than you, Clarka.

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Clarka: How about if I don’t bathe and talk to myself?

OK, you win.

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Looks like Tamara Donner found the trampoline!

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See, I called her Tamara Donner instead of making up a name for her.

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That’s because I’ve played Sunset Valley QUITE a few times. So at least for a generation I won’t have to write names down.

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Um.  I should make sure she’s OK. I guess.

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Birthday time (AGAIN).

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Clark gets the trait Eccentric.

Clark: BEEP BEEP.

Yep, that’s pretty Eccentric.

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Clarka: This was such a special occasion, I took a bath.

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Congrats, Clarka, you are now Hot-Headed!

Clarka: SCREW YOU.

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Clarkette: Hope it’s chocolate for me!

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Clarkette rolls Lucky.

Clarkette: I sure don’t feel Lucky.

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Raging: Yes, we’re gonna have a party, party.

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Raging is now a bookworm. Do something Bookworm-y!

Raging: I’d rather eat cake.

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Beef goes out on a case and is surprised to see it’s Gurton! He moved as well.

Gurton: Good luck movin’ up cause I’m…. movin’ out!

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B. S.: I don’t know why I’m bothering to dust for prints, it’s obvious that no-good roommate of his, Luke, did it.

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Dewey: Watch me break this space rock.

OK.  (The screenshot I’ll get of him breaking his hand will be hilarious.)

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Dewey: Hai-yah!

Darn.

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Clarkette: Hey, next time you’re using the “soften terrain” tool, make sure you don’t have moveobjects on, genius.

Why?

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Clarkette: I CAN’T MOVE!

Oops.

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The good news is Beefy got an award for solving her last case. The bad news is she lost a whole lot of friends in the move, so she’s got to earn her charisma challenge rewards all over again.

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B. S.: Do you realize that everyone you know will someday die?

Yeah, this is going to take awhile.

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Harley: WOOLY BULLY…. WOOLY BULLY!

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Raging: Ugh, Dad, you’re a real jerk sometimes.

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Harley: Principal.  PRINCIPALLLLL!

Raging: I know Dad, I know.

J. J.: Let’s make this dual guitars!

Someone’s not getting any sleep tonight.

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B. S.: Thanks for inviting me over, Pauline. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie tonight.

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Pauline: My TV is broken.

B. S.: Your TV is broken?

Pauline: My TV is broken.

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B. S.: Let me give fixing this a shot.

Pauline: GO GO ELECTROCUTION!

B. S.: What?

Pauline: Nothing.

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B. S.: Dammit, the movie’s over. Hey where’s Pauline?

Hank: She had to go. Hey, have you seen Sergeant O’Leary’s car?

So the Kent-Bull household is now full of toddlers again.

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Clarka: Don’t take another step closer, or Ken gets it.

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Clarka: I warned you! OM NOM NOM NOM!

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Clark: BUT I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE LIBRARY!

B. S.: Hush. I didn’t teach you to talk yet.

Clark: Oh, right, sorry.

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B. S.: The monster at the end of the book is me, lovable Grover! And you were so scared.

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Now, you can learn to talk.  Of course Beef teaches him about her favorite topic, food.

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I’m glad the heir got the Breckman eyes. They really stand out on Clark.

Clark: And they almost match my shirt!  Hey, mommy’s face is all weird.

Actually, it’s normal, it’s her everyday that’s messed up.

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Running with a baby, yeah that’s safe.  Oh, hi Andy and Joey!

Raging: I could sure use some “incense.”

Really, that’s an odd thought for a toddler to have.

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B. S.: Everyone is different. No two people are not on fire. Awwwww.

Raging: What’s fire?

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Yes, what’s fire?

Maid: BURNINATE BURNINATE!

I swear I just can’t leave this lot unattended for two seconds.

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Reading time over, B. S. works on the basic toddler skills.

B. S.: Jeez, that blue bar is barely budging. Forget this. Home you go.

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Raging: AHHH MY ARMS!

Just be glad you didn’t end up like your mom…FLASHBACK TIME!

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J. J.: I think I was taller then than I am now.

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If you haven’t noticed the pattern by now, yes, I’m reading to the kids all the toddler books.

B. S.: OK, I’ll try some green eggs and ham. Thanks for offering. OK, we’re done.

Beef’s gotten tired and is drastically shortening the books now.

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B. S.: And then the giving tree said “find your branches somewhere else, no way are you chopping me up.”

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Robbing mailboxes again?

B. S.: It’s my birthday today, and I don’t want to celebrate it, so I figure if I work it’ll just pass on by unnoticed.

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SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

B. S.: I am so going to kill “guy who wears a pillbox hat” for telling everyone.  Why’s a dude wearing a pillbox hat anyway?

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B. S.: Hmm, I sense death here.

It’s the graveyard, genius.

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B. S.: Shh! I must tiptoe to get to the bottom of this.

I’m sure you won’t wake those who sleep here.  Hey, with you working all the time, who takes care of the kids?

B. S.: I took care of it.

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Harley: DIAPER CHANGE!!  CHANNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGE!

That’s not scary at ALL!

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Advancing up the investigator career ladder, Beefy gets better at stakeouts.

B. S.: Old people are never up to any good.

Old lady: Oh yes, today’s Family Circus was HILARIOUS.

B. S.: See?

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Learning Xylophone are we?

Clark: Mmhmm.

You know, I got a favor to ask you.

Clark: Mmm?

I promised the readers shots of toddlers with things in your mouth so could you…

Clark: No.

C’mon, please?

Clark: No.

I’ll put you in the cursed coffin if you don’t.

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YAY! Isn’t it cute?

Clark: I’m so going to find a way to crash your game.

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B. S.: Hey Harley, have you ever heard of DEODORANT???

Harley: CHECK.   CHECCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!

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While working on a case, Beef runs into Gurton!  Long time no see! Of course, the two catch up by making fun of some random old dude reading outside the theater.

B. S.: I bet he’s reading about his incontinent bladder!

Gurton: Ha ha she said bladder!

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It’s Birthday time! Bear with me we have four right in a row.

Dewey: Good thing I love cake!

You won’t for long.

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Clark: Yay, I’m all sparkly!

You’re probably gonna die now.

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Clark: You are so not funny.

To go with Loner and Hates the Outdoors, Clark is now Ambitious. And he’s locked in a LTW of Illustrious Author already!

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Now it’s Clarka’s turn!

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Clarka: I hope I get hair!

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Clarka: Eh, not bad, I guess.

To go with Clumsy and Insane, Clarka is now Hot-Headed. And like her brother, she wants to be an Illustrious Author.

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Clarkette gets ready to blow out her candles.

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You know, they should allow theme parties in The Sims 3 so you could have a fireman party and be prepared for this.

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After putting out the fire and buying yet another cake…

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Clarkette aged up to Absent Minded, to add to Loves the Outdoors and Excitable.

Clarkette: Can I go to bed now? We’ve been eating cake and blowing noisemakers all day.

No. We have one more.

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Look at Beef’s bald spot!

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Raging: I hope I stay cute!

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Raging: Oh boy, Cake. And I think I look like my mom.

Raging is now Grumpy, to go with Brave and Perceptive.

That’s it for now, next time the kids finally go to school, where the Kent-Bulls will make up more than half the class.

So last time, Beef Supreme and Joey Jr. were expecting babies.

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Harley: You know I realized that I’ve been in this family a while now and you all don’t know anything about me. Like I’m Athletic, Virtuoso, Artistic, Kleptomaniac, and a Mooch. My LTW is living in the lap of luxury, which fulfilled as soon as I moved in.

Blah Blah Blah. No one cares.

Harley: Dewey is Unlucky, Disciplined, Excitable, Genius and is also a Mooch. His LTW is Physical Perfection.

Just shut up.

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See, you put everyone to sleep.  Notice Beef Supreme has no Mummy face now.

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And now she does!  It makes no sense.

Creepy Dishwasher (I really got to start writing these people’s names down): ME WANNA FEEL BABY!

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Beef had a job to investigate this guy, and he just kept getting weirder.

Creepy Dishwasher: You’re the dirty water to my pretty flower vase.

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But Beefy happily broke into people’s mailboxes (a federal offense, mind you) for the Creepster.

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B. S.: Here you go, sir. (Hey, no mummy face again.)

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B. S.: Oh, Good Lord, this hurts! Where’s my lousy husband???

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J. J.: She must be somebody’s baby… She’s got to be somebody’s baby.. She’s so fine… She’s probably somebody’s only light, gonna shine tonight…

Dewey: Gonna sell me Bob Marley records, Gonna get me some Jackson Browne.

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B. S.: Husbands, who needs ‘em.

In the crib is our first born heir, Clark Kent. He is a loner and hates the outdoors.  Second born is his sister Clarka. She is clumsy and insane.

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And here we have another daughter, Clarkette!  She is excitable, and loves the outdoors.

B. S.: OK, I’m done, it’s Joey’s turn.

Right you are so here we go.

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J. J.: Oh, Harley…

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J. J.: Harley!

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J. J.: HARLEY!!!!!!!!!

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J. J.: You know, if you weren’t a dude, you wouldn’t be so amused by all this.

Sorry. This is Raging Bull. He is brave and perceptive.

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And now the obligatory “You’re a Bad Mother!” shot.

J. J.: It’s not my fault you only bought three cribs.

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J. J.: See, I’m a good mommy!

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Wait a minute…

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That’s not your kid, your kid is behind you.

J. J.: Oh.

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Beef goes back to work almost immediately. Hey, aren’t you afraid of finding rats or bugs in there?

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B. S.: NOT UNTIL NOW!!!

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Meanwhile, it appears Harley shouldn’t have been sleeping in that sarcophagus.

Harley: CURSE! CURRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSE!

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Ah, I see now, Mummies can’t be Mummies, but they can be Daddies!

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The bad thing about Real Mummies (as opposed to ugly people with messed up faces) is that they walk real slow. So that’s what cars are for.

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Harley: Friends! Frieeeennnnnnnnnnndddddss!

Scared Fellow: Um, sure, I guess you can come inside.

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Of course, he had to walk forever to get there.

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Harley: Thank… you… inviting… home…. HOMMMMMME!

Apparently, not everyone who lived there could handle seeing mummies.

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After getting to know the neighbors, Harley then went to go kick some flamethrower wielding bear ass. And he totally did. Twice.

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J. J.: Rugrats R Us? Yes I’d like to hire a babysitter. I’ve HAD IT with FOUR screaming babies!

Um, yeah, while I was playing with Harley, I left Joey Jr. and Dewey to take care of the kids.

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The best thing Harley brought back from the catacombs was this gnome, who I named Alton Brown.

Alton Brown: And I hope you now have a greater understanding of why Stu Surprise is….

GOOD EATS!

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Quick! Look! The babysitter is handling a baby!

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Too late, you missed it.

Babysitter: PARTY TIME!

Indeed it is, time to see what all these little brats darlings look like.

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First, we have Raging Bull.

Raging: I’m BALD!

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Clarka: At least you’re a boy! I’m a BALD GIRL!

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Clarkette: Yay! I’m cute!

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Clark: I aged up last! Does that mean I’m not the heir now?

Nah, I’m not going to bother keeping up with who ages up when. You’ll probably die first.

Clark: What’s die?

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Nothing says “birthday party” like raw hot dogs.

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And that’s all for now! See you next time which will probably have WAY too many shots of toddlers shoving things in their mouths.

Harley: Clean! CLEAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!