Archive for the ‘Clarka’ Category

Screenshot-2330

So with the addition of Hungry Lyktha Wolff to the household it’s time for my favorite (sarcasm) activity, toddler skilling! Harley teaches Hungry how to Walk Like an Egyptian.

Screenshot-2333

Meanwhile, Kent Kent seems to be a popular attraction. Stand in line to hold the baby!

Screenshot-2336

Harley then teaches Hungry to talk like an Egyptian.

Screenshot-2337

Apparently, Egyptians are violent people.

Screenshot-2338

While watching TV with his mom, Ethan has an idea for dinner.

Ethan: Let’s go to the Golden Corral, or I’ll hit you with a frying pan until you agree.

Screenshot-2339

Charlene reads “Being a Spare For Dummies” with tips on how to find a house after you’re ceremoniously kicked out on your YA birthday, and the joys of being on Free Will while your Simmer ignores you.

Screenshot-2340

Lakisha: Hmm, I suspect the Stephen King section is haunted.

Screenshot-2342

Ghost: Wait, don’t zap me, I was just here to pose for a READ poster!

Screenshot-2346

Lakisha: Can’t you read, ghosts at the park must be on a leash!

Screenshot-2349

Lakisha: Now off to sell these spirits to the science lab!

You sell souls to the lab? How do you sleep at night?

Lakisha: I don’t, I have a moodlet manager.

Screenshot-2353

Reading books on logic, is there anything more boring to read?

Lakisha: Clark Kent’s Autobiography.

Good point.

Screenshot-2355

We added a new member to the family, Kermit the Frog!  Next chapter, I’ll probably have pictures of Kermit dead when I forget to feed him.

Screenshot-2359

Maid: Party Time! I get the day off!

Um, I never said that.

Screenshot-2360

Lakisha: I wish I could have a normal hairdo for everyday!

Darlene: OW THERE IS A DOOR IN ME.

Screenshot-2361

Lakisha: Yay, I look normal now!

Yeah, should I kick her out?

Screenshot-2362

I got a notification that City Hall was going to have a ceremony for Lakisha’s Soul Selling accomplishments, but when I got there I found the ceremony wasn’t going to be held that day. Instead, it was “We love Cop Shows” day.

Screenshot-2363

This kid thinks we have enough Cop Shows on TV, thank you.

Screenshot-2365

I couldn’t think of a word for poop that rhymes with “Walk” so Clark taught Hungry how to use the toilet.

Screenshot-2367

Just in time, because now Hungry will become a child.

Harley: All this cake, and never a cake for me.

Screenshot-2369 

Sparkle and Fade!

Screenshot-2370

To go with Hates the Outdoors and Clumsy, Hungry has added Eccentric.

Screenshot-2371

And she still has the biggest eyes.  I’ll keep throwing up these stylist shots, because I will probably be keeping her as a ghost.

Screenshot-2372

Finally, it was time for Lakisha’s award ceremony.  Look, Alice in Wonderland came.

Screenshot-2375

Mayor Burnout: Dude, thank you for rounding up Sunset Valley’s deceased loved ones’ souls and donating them to science to perform who knows what kind of experiments on, probably to use to make weapons.

Screenshot-2376

Clarka: Yay for ghostbusting!

Screenshot-2377

Mayor Burnout would like to remind you this is an election year, and he needs your vote.

Screenshot-2379

Lakisha: I busted your ghosts lady, could you please move so I can leave?

Lakisha, you could walk around her.

Lakisha: NO! I have to go down the RIGHT side of the steps!

Screenshot-2382

It’s Kent Kent’s birthday. I keep having birthdays, and the maid thinks it means he can eat cake then go home, so the house is getting to be a mess.

Screenshot-2383

Kent Kent keeps the famous Breckman eyes in the family for another generation.

But we had TWO cakes out… so who else gets a birthday?

Screenshot-2384

HARLEY GETS A BIRTHDAY!

And Clark looks WAY too happy about it.

Screenshot-2387

Harley even gets a spazzy new green skirt to welcome into Elderhood.  Does this mean Harley will only be with us another 20 days or so? Time will tell.

Screenshot-2388

While Lakisha has made it easily to level 10 ghostbusting, while also having a kid, Ethan is still slowly climbing the Science ladder.  He is now level 7.

Screenshot-2392

Lakisha keeps collecting spirits on her free time, and one of the places she hits is the old Wolff household. Of course, Thornton and Morganna no longer live here, and new people have moved in… but they never cleaned up Clarka’s mess. There’s still scrap all over the floor on no furniture.

Screenshot-2395

Personally, I think this town has a bigger problem than idle ghosts. It’s time to create a Childbusting career.

Screenshot-2396

The Spectrum Legacy had its thumbs down fish hating shots, I have the toddlers biting dolls shots.

Screenshot-2399

Finally, Lakisha’s maternity leave ended (Yep, she was an elder on maternity leave) and she could go back to busting ghosts who dress like it’s 1599.

Screenshot-2401

Mo: Wise guy, eh?

Lakisha: Coitanly!

Screenshot-2404

Kirk Duran: Good work on that turning ghosts into plutonium project you’ve been working on. We should be able to nuke Twinbrook soon.  That way the Sunset Valley Llamas will never lose to the Twinbrook Llamas again.

Screenshot-2406

Ethan: I’ll feel better about all the deaths I’m causing if I get a promotion.

Kirk: No problem. Here’s your new coat.

Screenshot-2407

Ethan: Hey this looks like my OLD coat.

Screenshot-2408

Hungry gets invited over to a friend’s house, and does what all ghosts do. Nap in your bed.

Screenshot-2410

One more birthday party.  The nap didn’t help Hungry much, I guess.

Screenshot-2411

Charlene is now a couch potato, and her LTW is Possession is 9/10ths of the law. And then I threw her out of the house, forgetting to get a decent after shot of her.  Ethan went and had his Adult party without even noticing his sister making the phone call and leaving.

Screenshot-2413

Lakisha: Why do I keep having to bust ghosts who dress silly, but women who dress like hookers get off the hook?

Screenshot-2414

Finally, the town gets enough plutonium to destroy Twinbrook once and for all, and hold another ceremony for Lakisha.  Half the celebrants don’t even know which way to face.

Screenshot-2416

Oh, and Mayor Burnout lost the re-election in a landslide.

Screenshot-2428

For her second reward, Lakisha gets this nifty model cemetery. She puts it next to the two keys to the city she received in the first ceremony. (I left, and got a notification I missed the ceremony, then went back and got another one. I think Mayor Burnout was forgetful.)

Screenshot-2417

Clark: Hey, why’s everything gray? 

Two reasons: this house takes forever to load, and you died.

Screenshot-2419

Death shows up and I still wait for the furniture to load.

Screenshot-2422

Death: CLARK, YOUR TIME IS UP.

Wait, I only have the dresser loaded.

Screenshot-2424

OK, finally, I can get the death shot now.

Death: I ALREADY TOOK HIM.

Sigh.  I like this house and all, but the load times mean it won’t be making the move to Barnacle Bay.

Screenshot-2425

Clark gets buried in the creepy graveyard behind the house, for now.  He was 102, a new record for the legacy.

Miscellaneous other news: Both Raging Bull and Clarkette died, and Clarka married Kenya Beaulieu, who is half her age easily.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

Screenshot-2071

After three generations have grown up in the house that Andy Breckman built threw together at random, it was time the family packed up and moved on…

Screenshot-2074

Charlene: You forgot me!

She could have just stayed behind, I was just putting them on a vacant lot until the new house was ready.

Screenshot-2076

Yep, I downloaded a Mod The Sims house. I stink at building, and wanted to use a real house. Also, I just love waiting 5 minutes for the graphics to load.

Screenshot-2078

Ethan: Hey, look there’s a tomb down here.

Be careful, there might be a mummy.

Ethan: Oh boy! Maybe he’ll read me a story.

I guess raising kids with a mummy has interesting side effects.

Screenshot-2082

Mummy with really long Egyptian name I didn’t write down: LOVE.  LOOOOOOVEEEE!

I guess he’s friendly.

Screenshot-2084

And the object of his affection is Harley!

Screenshot-2085

Ethan, on the other hand, he doesn’t care for.

Screenshot-2087

And the big prize at the end of the tomb is…

Ethan: Nectar.

Well, that could be a nice collection…

Ethan: Two bottles.

Set the mummy on fire.

Screenshot-2088

Ethan: I liked my old garden better.

Well, you just mastered gardening, so you don’t need it.

Screenshot-2089

Ethan: I caught a frog.

Kermit: Why are there so many songs about rainbows? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Screenshot-2090

Ethan: Now to max out fishing at the only place spookier than home.

Ghost: Boo!

Ethan: Are you kidding me? My house is haunted, and my aunt is a flaming ghost just like you.  And my wife is a GHOST BUSTER! Who’s scared now?

Ghost: Oh, look at the time, I’m missing “Paid Programming.”

Screenshot-2091

Ethan: Mastered fishing, and caught a death fish.

Ah, so that’s what “You’ll catch your death” means.

Screenshot-2092

Ethan: The library isn’t as much fun any more now that I’m allowed to be here.

Try working in one, it gets even worse. (Librarian)

Screenshot-2093

Darlene: Ha ha, your furniture texture isn’t loaded!

Consignment store guy: Do you want me to go to YOUR house with a calendar?

Screenshot-2094

Guess what I sold right after this picture was taken?  Yeah, I’m mean, but I really can’t stand hearing the same simlish songs over and over, and Harley won’t do anything but dance and work out if I let him.

Screenshot-2095

Ethan moves on to handiness, and manages not to electrocute himself.  I really want to see what Lakisha would do with a ghost spouse.

Ethan: What?

Nothing.

Screenshot-2096

Speaking of which, lets see what Winston Zeddemore is up to.

Lakisha: I want to be Peter Venkman!

No.

Lakisha: Ray Stantz?

No.

Lakisha: Not even Egon Spangler?

Nope.

Lakisha: Meany.

Screenshot-2098

Lakisha: This house is a mess.

Yeah, you’re busting ghosts here several chapters too late.

Screenshot-2100

Look, it’s the oldest member of the Breckman-Kent family!

Luke: DOORBELL. MAYBE I WILL FINALLY FIND A NEW FRIEND. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE MY BUDDIES MONK AND GURTON DIED, AND MY WI-

Just shut up already and get the door.

Screenshot-2101

Luke: IT IS MY EMPLOYEE, ETHAN KENT.

Ethan: A simbot!  Why was I here again? Oh yeah. Can I—A SIMBOT!

Screenshot-2102

Hours (and I do not exaggerate) later…

Ethan: Oh, right. Can I have a promotion?

Luke: SURE YOU DO NOT WANT TO YELL “A SIMBOT” AGAIN?

Ethan: A SIMBOT? Where?

Luke: JUST TAKE YOUR PROMOTION AND GO.

Screenshot-2104

Of course, Luke then gave him the day off so he wouldn’t earn another promotion too soon (Can’t have THAT now, can we?) But we had a productive day anyway.  Except for no one getting killed.

Ethan: What?

Nothing.

Screenshot-2108

Ethan: I wonder how I can improve the meal quality from my stove. I know, beat the glass top range with a hammer!

Screenshot-2112

Ethan: Hmm, how shall I make the microwave cook faster.

Bang it with a hammer?

Ethan: BANG IT WITH A HAMMER!

Screenshot-2115

Ethan: Hmm, make the fireplace auto-light…

Bang it with a hammer?

Ethan: BANG IT WITH A HAMMER!

Screenshot-2117

Meanwhile Winston–

Lakisha: Lakisha!

Winston is continuing to bust ghosts, and advance faster than Ethan. Here she is in the Bachelor home. Toni, the bald chick in the back is the town tart. Her hairstyle draws the guys like flies.

Screenshot-2132

And then she sells all the ghosts to the science lab. I don’t know what they do with them, but I hope it’s not keep them in a container for William Atherton to turn off, and set all the ghosts free and cause chaos everywhere.

Screenshot-2133

Ethan: Time to upgrade the trash compactor.

Bang it with a hammer?

Ethan: Don’t be silly.

Screenshot-2140

There’s a strange woman in our shower!

Lakisha: It’s me! I’m washing my hair!

Oh, hi Winston.

Lakisha: (sighs)

Screenshot-2143

Finally found the computer Clark?

Clark: It was on the third floor. Took me 2 days to climb all the stairs.  I need a laptop.

Screenshot-2144

Harley: LAPTOP? NO SEE LAPPPPPTOOOOPPPP!

Screenshot-2145

Ah! Strange woman in the bedroom!

Lakisha: It’s me La— Winston. Did you expect me to sleep in that hair?

Kind of.

Screenshot-2150

Oh yeah, Ethan, I forgot to mention something.

Ethan: FIRE! FIRE!

That fireplace…

Ethan: Yeah?

It WAS fireproof, before you made it auto-light.

Ethan: Oops. Sorry.

Screenshot-2151

Don’t apologize to me, you should apologize to Mr. Pyrophobe.

Around this time, Lakisha was finally able to change her lifetime wish from Tomb Explorer.  Unfortunately, they were all still WA picks.

Screenshot-2154

So I chose the 20,000 worth of relics one. Piece of cake. Thanks Beef Supreme!

Screenshot-2155

B. S.: Don’t mention it.

Oh, hai.

Screenshot-2157

Here’s America’s Next Food Network Star, HARLEY BULL!

Harley: Egggggs.  EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS!

Ok, he got cut in the first round.

Screenshot-2161

Charlene: I wish I wasn’t a Kent!

Screenshot-2163

Charlene: I’m starving! What do I do?

Eat your cake? Yeah, you’re still a Kent, all right.

Charlene: Are you sure?

Screenshot-2168

You just aged up at a 8 AM birthday party in your underwear. You’re a Kent. And a kleptomaniac!

Screenshot-2170

AND, you don’t know how to play foozball with another person properly.

Screenshot-2173

AND… You watch the kids channel as a teenager.

Charlene: OK, OK, I get it.

Screenshot-2172

Ethan: Don’t I look bad ass on my bike?

In that outfit? No.

Ethan: But I’ll get a promotion today, that’ll get me a new outfit!

Screenshot-2175

Yeah, that one is TOTALLY bad ass.

Ethan: Shut up.

Screenshot-2181

Lakisha: How does the poltergeist lift this shower without totally destroying the tile?

I dunno, same way it sucked Carol Ann into the TV?

Screenshot-2185

Hey, wait a minute, I know this homeowner! Hi Clarka, how’s the family?

Clarka: Family?

You know, your daughter? Hungry Lyktha?

Screenshot-2186

Clarka: Oh, her. She’s over there.

Um, nice parenting. Hey wait a minute, why is she STILL a baby?

Clarka: Who?

Nevermind.

Screenshot-2188

Lakisha: Hmm, maybe I should introduce myself to my Aunt-in-law.

Clarka: OK, you can leave now.

Screenshot-2189

Lakisha: Not even a thank you.

Well, that’s Clarka!  And with that, I think it’s also time for YOU to leave. Bye now!

Screenshot-1803

Welcome back. Today we’re watching Ethan do his best impression of Sisyphus. I don’t know why they never learn it helps to fix the leak first.

Screenshot-1804

Clarka spent her LTH points to change her LTW to Gold Digger. I figured it suited her better, and besides I wasn’t going to do Illustrious Author twice.  And she already knew a rich old dude.

Thornton: I don’t like kids.

Clarka: Don’t worry, you won’t see our kids to toddlerhood.

Thornton: What?

Screenshot-1808

Clarka: You’re 89, shouldn’t you enjoy life while you can?

Thornton: I know you blew up my furniture, but making out totally makes up for it.

Screenshot-1813

Clarka: Marry me, and you can have a bed to sleep in again!

Screenshot-1814

Thornton: I can’t commit to something long term.

Clarka: You’ll be gone in a week tops!

Screenshot-1818

Clarka: C’mon you’ll have this every night.

Thornton: All Five of them?

Screenshot-1819

Thornton: I feel like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters.

Screenshot-1821

Clarka: How about now?

Screenshot-1822

Thornton: Why buy the cow when you can get the ectoplasm for free?

Screenshot-1823

Clarka: OK, you get some shut-eye, I’ll be in the other room.

Screenshot-1824

Thornton: Time to casually run again!

Screenshot-1825

Thornton: I shall casually stand over here, until the fire goes out.

Clarka: How about you just move in, we’ll take it slow.

Thornton: OK.

Screenshot-1826

Thornton: Now that I’m living here, I have a sudden urge to marry you.

Yeah, funny how that works.

Screenshot-1829

And so they got married, right then and there.

Thornton: Til death do us part? How does that work, you’re already dead.

Clarka: But you’re not… yet.

Screenshot-1830

Thornton: Jeez, you sure have a lot of fires here. Why are all these picnic tables so close together anyway?

Screenshot-1831

Thornton: I’m filled with the urge to urinate.

B. S.: Dude, you’re on fire.

Screenshot-1832

Darlene: I got this!

And then she put Thornton out. I wasn’t very happy.

Screenshot-1837

Thornton: I’m really not liking it here. I’m tired, I’m singed, and you’re constantly insulting me.

Screenshot-1838

Clarka: I have no idea why you’re so tired. *ZAP*

This is the most undignified I’ve ever seen Thornton.

Screenshot-1839

Thornton: I think I just urinated on the carpet.

OK, THIS is the most undignified I’ve seen Thornton.

Screenshot-1841

Thornton: I’ve pissed myself, I’m singed, smelly, and tired beyond belief. How can my life gets worse.

Clarka: Thornton, I have declared you a nemesis.

Thornton: What the hell did I do to you??

Clarka: I’ve just never liked your sideburns.

Screenshot-1842

Clarka: Now I’m pregnant with a baby Wolff.

Screenshot-1843

Darlene: Why all this focus on Clarka, she’s not even part of the heir bloodline.

Because you and Clark are so boring? OK, quick update. Darlene is a level 9 Secret Agent.

Screenshot-1844

She got an opportunity to learn Martial Arts.

Darlene: Wow, they didn’t even ask me to go to China first.

Yeah, I hate the opportunities that do that.

Screenshot-1846

Ethan got invited over to Johnpaul Jacobsen’s house.  Looks like Mortimer moved out when his parents died.

Ethan: What kind of name is Johnpaul?

Johnpaul: It’s not too bad, you should see my sister Georgeringo.

Screenshot-1849

Darlene: Look, I made yellow belt!

Still boring.

Screenshot-1851

Darlene: Boring??? Fine, I’ll show you interesting. Oh, and I got my LTW, International Super Spy.

Screenshot-1852

Darlene: See, I’m raiding the criminal warehouse.

You went into a rabbit hole, and later I got text. STILL BORING.

Screenshot-1855

Look who’s visiting for the first time in a long long time!

Gurton: Wait, you never invite people over. This must mean something.

Screenshot-1856

Gurton: I knew it!

So long Gurton. Beef has now outlived all her siblings.

B. S.: Yay for death flowers!

Screenshot-1857

Sim rule no. 1: Death never happens by itself.

Clarka: Why does it hurt so much to give birth to an ethereal baby?

Screenshot-1858

Thornton: I insist my child be born in the hospital!

Clarka: Shouldn’t you DRIVE then?

Screenshot-1860

It’s a girl! She was born with the traits Clumsy, and Hates the Outdoors.  Do you have a name, Clarka?

Clarka: Hungry Lyktha Wolff.

Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo.

Screenshot-1863

Clarka: OK, all the dressers lined up… Bookshelf blocking the door… detonator on the desk… Looks like we’re ready to go.

Screenshot-1864

Thornton: You put this dresser too close to the bed. I can’t get out.

Screenshot-1866

Clarka: You’re right honey! You’re trapped, and now the room is on fire!

Screenshot-1867

Thornton: I can’t get out of bed to respond properly to the fire!

Screenshot-1868

Thornton: It is nice and warm and comfy though.

Screenshot-1873

The rest of the family has their own response to the fire.

Screenshot-1874

Darlene: I can’t get to the fire to put it out!

You’re one floor directly below it. Did you even go upstairs to check?

Screenshot-1879

Funny how it stays to one room like that.

Screenshot-1878

No pressure on Thornton yet.

Screenshot-1876

Thornton: Could someone please move this dresser already? I am now on fire too.

Screenshot-1882

Thornton: My backside is on fire, and I’m getting rather put out.

Screenshot-1883

Thornton: Finally, most of the fire has gone out. But I have “Expire” set in my queue, but I can not do that properly with this dresser in the way!

Screenshot-1885

Clarka: Fine, I’ll put out the fire so you can die.

Thornton: Thank you kindly.

Screenshot-1886

Thornton: Hello! The dresser!

Screenshot-1888

Clarka: Got it.

Screenshot-1891

Thornton: That just made more fire! I can’t die properly in this mess!

Screenshot-1892

Clarka: Fine, I will put it out again. Why do you have to be so difficult, Thornton? … Thornton? … THORNTON!

Screenshot-1893

Thornton: …

Maybe this is the least dignified I’ve ever seen Thornton.

Screenshot-1896

Death: SORRY I AM SO LATE, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE TRAFFIC.

Clarka: I’m SO heartbroken.

Death: WHAT’S THE +20,000 MEAN?

Clarka: Oh, nothing.

Screenshot-1897

Clark: I’m Evil and all, so I don’t give a rat’s ass about your dead husband, but that’s the LAST time you will burn my stuff! GET OUT!

Clarka: You have my baby!

Clark: Oh, sorry. Take that too.

Screenshot-1899

And so Clarka and Hungry moved out, and Clark went back upstairs to hide away painting.

Screenshot-1901

Clark: Remember that fire we had? It was pretty cool.

B. S.: My son-in-law died, and you kicked out my daughter and grandchild over it.

Clark: STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

Screenshot-1903

Ethan: I wish I age up with a shirt on!

Screenshot-1905

Ethan: Score!

Nice hair too. So Ethan is now a loner, which should go well with his LTW I locked in as a child, Creature Robot Crossbreeder.

Ethan: Now I can learn gardening, so off to the library I go.

Screenshot-1906

Sandi French has confused the library with the beach.

Screenshot-1907

Ethan takes no notice, and just keeps on reading. Maybe this will be my last generation, if this does nothing for him.

Screenshot-1908

Also in the library was Ethan’s cousin, Darlene Bunch (Daughter of Ethan Bunch.) Confused? Yeah. Bunches don’t have that many names.  I have no idea what she’s so pissed about. Being a Bunch, I guess.

Screenshot-1910

Clark finally got level 10 painting, meaning he has his LTW, Illustrious Author completed! Yay! Now I just need to chain him back to his computer so he can get level 10 in the writing career. Which will probably take even longer, since it seems only the FIRST royalty payment counts.

Thanks for reading!  Tune in next time, when nothing gets set on fire or gets blown up. I think. Sorry.

Screenshot-1701

We got the phone call that Monk Breckman wasn’t going to be around much longer, so Clarka went over to visit her uncles.  Since Monk was about to die, Clarka decided not to blow his house up.

Screenshot-1703

Clarka invited her uncle home to say goodbye to his family. Monk had reached that stage of life where you think you are Jean Luc Picard.

Screenshot-1705

Monk: Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!

If I let Monk spend too much time with Ethan, the social worker will show up to take him away to prevent him from becoming a Trekkie.

Screenshot-1709

B. S.: Something happens and I’m Head over Heels.

Monk: We’re boldly going where no one has gone before.

Five feet off the ground? Every townie’s been there.

Screenshot-1712

Death: SORRY CAPTAIN, YOUR TIME IS UP.

Monk: OK, NOW I’m going where no one has gone before.

That’s probably true, I stuck him in Clarka’s inventory.

Screenshot-1713

Clark: I guess Uncle Monk died, cause I’m having a birthday!

Screenshot-1715

Clarka: What’s this “become a responsible adult” crap?

Screenshot-1719

Most unusual training regimen ever.

Screenshot-1721

$125 a day. Totally worth it!

Screenshot-1723

Yay! Ethan will finally get interesting!  One of these days I will totally start caking the little worms the day they’re born.

Maid: I just woke up. Time for free food?

Once again, $125. A day.

Screenshot-1730

He got the family cyan eyes.

Screenshot-1732

Ethan loves his mommy!

Ethan: Cause I don’t look like her!

Yeah, you caught a REAL lucky break there.

Screenshot-1735

Ethan loves his mummy!

Ethan: Cause I don’t look like him!

OK, you caught an even luckier break there.

Screenshot-1740

The whole family chipped in on Ethan’s skilling.

Ethan: And that’s the tale of our castaways, they’re here for a long long while.

J. J. is teaching him the classics.

Screenshot-1741

Clarka: You have to learn how to walk before you can learn how to run. And you have to learn to run cause you have to be a good distance from that detonator before it explodes.

Ethan: ‘splodes?

Ernie II: Yeah, ‘splodes. That’s why I’m Ernie II. And Bert’s nowhere to be seen.

Thinking about how Clarka is holding him up makes my head hurt.

Screenshot-1744

Ethan: Who’s this man behind me?

That’s your daddy. You won’t see him much cause he’s got a lot of books to write. In fact, probably time to hit him with a moodlet manager and chain him back to his desk!

Clark: Is this how Stephen King got famous?

Yes. Yes it is.

Screenshot-1745

Clarka had been so good for so long.. so it was bound to happen.  This time when the detonator went off, that chain reaction she hoped for at the last party finally happened.

Screenshot-1750

The heat is on!

Screenshot-1752

Gurton is the worst cop ever.

Gurton: I don’t know what to do!

Stand there, jump up and down, and yell. It’s so helpful!

Screenshot-1753

Darlene: I got this.

Screenshot-1754

Joey Jr. narrowly escapes the fire, but decides sleeping is more important than a shower.

Screenshot-1759

Although Harley hasn’t used a bathroom since Ethan’s dad was a toddler, he gives potty training a go.

Harley: Poop. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!

Screenshot-1762

Ethan: Banana jelly beans cow. THIS BOOK MAKES NO SENSE!

Screenshot-1763

J. J.: And this is the alphabet!

Ethan: But this letter is just this letter backwards! Same with these other two! Just looking at this makes me tired!

Screenshot-1767

Clark: Come on son, I got an idea.

Screenshot-1768

Ethan: You are right Daddy, books DO make more sense in the library.

Clark: Funny how that works.

Screenshot-1774

Ethan: Wait, what’s going on here.

J. J.: I probably shouldn’t have done this in front of the baby.

Screenshot-1775

J. J.: Hey, Death, couldn’t you have, you know, not have me drop dead in front of a small impressionable child?

Death: LOOK, I’VE HAD NO ROBES FOR WEEKS NOW. I JUST DON’T CARE ANYMORE.

Screenshot-1776

Joey Jr. joins the family cemetery, with the grave closest to the baked goods stand. Cause it’s good for business.

Screenshot-1781

Ethan: Square peg goes in square hole, round peg goes in round hole, triangle peg goes in triangle hole, and aunt Joey goes in coffin!

Yeah, he’s not TOO screwed up now.

Screenshot-1782

Ethan: And mallet goes in mouth!

Yeah, why not.

Screenshot-1785

Head does NOT go in potty. I draw the line there.

Screenshot-1787

Darlene: Um, don’t mind me, I have to do this for work.

Morgana: That’s ok, when you’re done, can I have a look? I need new furniture and stuff.

Screenshot-1789

Darlene: Yay, I’m finally an adult.

OK then, could you put your clothes in the hamper?

Screenshot-1791

Dewey: Things seem much more peaceful now that I’m dead.

Hmm, I would have thought differently of the idea of laying next to Andy Breckman forever.

Screenshot-1790

Meanwhile, Harley subtly stuck his reward from work in one of the many display cases in the basement. He’s hoping Darlene the cop doesn’t look too close.

Screenshot-1793

Ken: Here we go again. Hey kid, you have ANY idea how many generations of slobber I have on me?

Screenshot-1794

Clark: I guess I should be glad you aren’t making me write 24/7, but at least then I was SITTING.

Who’s the guy in the picture?

Clark: Me after I go completely pale and cranky from painting hours on end.

Screenshot-1795

And it’s birthday time again. Screenshot-1797

Ethan: I have the best parties ever, a mummy and ghost and everything.

No friends, or even other kids, but I guess he doesn’t know better.

Screenshot-1798

Ethan: I have decided from here on out that I’m going to be Good.

Oh, Dad is not really going to like that…

Tune in next time when Clark and Ethan probably spend a lot of time going person person minus minus.

Screenshot-1570

So where are you off to, Clarka?

Clarka: I need some scrap.

So the junkyard then?

Screenshot-1571

Or the Wolff household…

Screenshot-1572

Clarka: I really don’t like their kitchen. What’s with that wall behind the stove?

Screenshot-1573

What stove?

Screenshot-1574

Thornton, you might want to check out what’s going on in your home.

Screenshot-1575

Thornton: There is a bomb on my end table. I should put this book down and run.

Screenshot-1576

Morgana: I don’t care much for this Clarka Kent person.

Screenshot-1577

Clarka wins the rudest guest ever award!

Screenshot-1581

Clarka: Yes! Just what I needed!

Screenshot-1582

Clarka: This will make the job much easier.

Well, at least she did some cleaning up.

Screenshot-1580

Having maxed Logic, Athletics, Charisma, and Music, Harley decides to tackle cooking.

Harley: Chopped.  CHOPPPPPEEDDDD!

Screenshot-1583

J. J.: Hey, don’t I get a cake at least?

Sorry, I forgot it was your birthday.

J. J.: You get a pop-up the day of!

Screenshot-1584

J. J.: Finally, I don’t have to wash all that hair.

Screenshot-1590

Clarka: 500 Science and Math, 600 Technology, 700 Arts… oh screw this.

Screenshot-1591

Clarka: 662, Explosives!

Blowing up the library cost me thousands of dollars in fines, while blowing up the Wolff’s cost me about 20 bucks per item.  I like the game’s priorities.

Screenshot-1592

Harley was told by Clarka to have a cook-out and invite everyone he knows.  He doesn’t understand why the picnic tables are grouped so close together.

Screenshot-1596

The guests, slightly wary, avoid using all the tables.

Screenshot-1597

Marty: Hey, what’s that on this table?

Clarka: Never you mind…

Screenshot-1598

After that table exploded, the rest of Clarka’s plan didn’t pan out has she hoped.

So they moved the party inside.

Screenshot-1599

Clarka: I’ll be way over here, you all stand as close to the dryer as you can.

Screenshot-1601

While the guests in the living room managed to get out with no problem, the resulting fire did spread to the bathroom.

But Gurton came in and rescued the ladies.

That’s when Clarka discovered the snake charming basket.

Screenshot-1605

Abraham: There’s a snake in my boot!

Needless to say, Clarka’s just not been right since her resurrection. If she ever was before.

Screenshot-1609

J. J.: Shouldn’t you help with the cleaning?

Harley: Woahhhhh Listen to the music… woahhh listen to the music… MUSICCC!

Screenshot-1610

I am so sick of that stereo, sims are turning it on autonomously all the time, but not once do they turn it off.

Screenshot-1611

Thank you, Clarka.

Screenshot-1614

Clark continues to write book after book, working his way up to Vaudevilles. Apparently they’re over 1200 page long books, and not plays where mustached villains tie damsels to railroad tracks.

Screenshot-1615

Cleaning up after the party took days, and sims often got interrupted mid cleaning. I’ve never seen so many flies before.

Screenshot-1618

We called the repairlady to fix a few things after the party, and apparently she wanted to marry into the family, showing up in a bridal veil.

Screenshot-1620

Clarka built a time machine, so she could take out her evil urges in the past and future.

Screenshot-1621

Relieved that she was no longer blowing up stuff in present-day Sunset Valley, the town gave her a medal.

Screenshot-1629

Now that she was an elder, Beef Supreme got into a hobby enjoyed only by the very young and very old: Fishing.

Screenshot-1631

Fortunately, instead of keeping these ugly monstrosities in the house, Beef sold them all to the consignment store.

B. S.: It’s either that or Harley makes us sushi, and I hate sushi.

Screenshot-1635

Not allowed to retire, J. J. catches up on zzz’s anywhere she can.

Mailbox and trashcan: Hey genius, wait for us to load before hitting “C.”

Screenshot-1636

Reminded by the repairlady’s veil, Clark realizes as heir he has work to do.

Kaylynn: Look, your story about chicken is interesting and all, but I am already married to Ethan Bunch. But, hey, he’s got a ton of sisters, you might try your luck with one of them.

Screenshot-1638

Clark: Do you like chicken?

Ethan: Is this dude hitting on my sister?

Screenshot-1639

Darlene: No, I like DIRT!

This girl is definitely legacy material.

Screenshot-1644

Clark: I know you just ate dirt, but I’ll kiss you anyway.

Screenshot-1648

Clark: Also, I bought this before I came to the park, hoping some random girl would come home with me.

Darlene: I’LL BE THAT RANDOM GIRL!

Screenshot-1653

Darlene: Lucky for you, I brought Wedding Bands to the park.

Screenshot-1655

Clark: And with this ring, we find out what your LTW is. Please don’t be Golddigger… Please don’t be Golddigger…

Fortunately for Clark, it’s International Super Spy.

Screenshot-1656

Darlene: Um, I live with a Mummy now…

Screenshot-1657

Darlene: Mummies are AWESOME! I’m so putting this on Youtube.

Screenshot-1658

At the age of 87, Dewey finally becomes a Sports Legend. I guess if your team goes 1-10 when you play in 2-3 games ever, it takes a while to get the recognition you deserve.

Screenshot-1660

Realizing she can die at any moment, Beef finally reconciles with her dad’s best friend.

Luke: I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

Screenshot-1661

Darlene gets to work on the bad side of her job: writing reports on Nick Alto’s garbage.

Darlene: Mr. Alto likes Beer, Mac and cheese, and Highlights Magazine.

Screenshot-1663

Lt. Wainwright: Good job exposing who stole the Highlights magazines from the pediatric hospital waiting room. You have earned a promotion. Now if only we can make headway on who’s stealing all the cop cars.

Darlene: I’ll keep a look out, but I just haven’t seen any clues at all.

Screenshot-1668

Robbie Bland: Good job stealing all those cop cars, you’ve earned a promotion.

Screenshot-1670

Clark: Congrats on making Vice Squad.

Darlene: Yeah, I want to take a break now though.

Clark: To write?

One track mind, that boy.

Screenshot-1672

Clark: Hey, what were those chimes?

Darlene: Oh, don’t worry about it.

Screenshot-1673

Dewey: What the hell? I max out athletic and I die before my sedentary wife?

Screenshot-1677

Death: TELL ME ABOUT IT. MY WIFE DIDN’T EVEN CLEAN MY ROBES SO I HAD TO BORROW THIS CRUMMY OUTFIT FROM STEVE IRWIN.

Dewey: Is that the hole from the Manta Ray?

Screenshot-1679

Dewey gets buried next to his in-laws, so he too can pop in uninvited at night to play video games.

Screenshot-1680

For those of you who still haven’t gotten what Darlene’s up to, here’s a gratuitous vomit pic!

Screenshot-1684

Darlene: Must keep in shape…

Right, can’t afford to lose those attractive Bunch looks.

Screenshot-1687

B. S.: Crap, this is not happening! Where’d I put that death flower?

Death flower? What Death flower?

Screenshot-1690

Death: THANKS FOR THE FLOWERS, I NEED THIS TO MAKE UP FOR MY WIFE. AFTER THE STEVE IRWIN INCIDENT I SAID SOME… UNWISE THINGS AND NOW I HAVE TO WEAR THIS.

B. S.: Alright! I’m almost 20 days younger now!

This was so unplanned, I still can’t remember where she found that flower. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was still in seed form.

Screenshot-1691

So Beef not only holds on long enough to see her grandchild, she’ll see him live into Teenager.

Darlene: It’s going to be a boy? SPOILERS!

You were only 2 seconds away from finding out, please.

Screenshot-1694

Darlene: His name’s Ethan. Can I eat him?

Um, please don’t.

Ethan is Easily Impressed and Hates the Outdoors.

Anyway, we named him Ethan because, true story, Ethan named his own daughter with Kaylynn “Darlene.” Which I thought was rather weird, but turnabout’s fair play.

See you next time!

Screenshot-1427

When not hard at work on her books (which is always) Clarkette has taken a new hobby: Fishing. Nice bait Clarkette.

Clarkette: That’s what I just caught…

Screenshot-1425

Harley and Joey Jr. have formed a duo named the Scarabs and have really been rocking it out for tips.

Screenshot-1428

Apparently they’re bigger than the Beatles.  Scarabmania!

Screenshot-1429

The old people, however, just don’t get it. Typical.

Harley: Everybody’s got something to hide, except for me and my mummy!

Screenshot-1430

Clarkette: Finally, I caught something I can be proud of.

Isn’t it rather dark?

Clarkette: So?

Screenshot-1431

Clarkette: Crud.

Screenshot-1433

Dewey: I’m disappointed in you. When you’re supposed to be somewhere, you should be there.

Clarkette: Like you at the game?

Dewey: Hey, I forgot I was supposed to go.

True story. Dewey’s missed like 5 games out of 7 so far. I keep forgetting to send him cause they practically never send a carpool. The Team loses 14-0 every single time. Yet Dewey’s MVP. I guess cause they can’t win without him.

Screenshot-1435

Clarkette: Screw this, I’m going out to eat. They can’t arrest me twice for the same crime. Double Jeopardy.

That’s not how it works. They don’t arrest her though.

Screenshot-1439

Dewey gets his lifetime wish!

Dewey: All that skipping work paid off!

This update is full of valuable lessons…

Screenshot-1442

Harley tries to make friends.

Harley: …and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.

Claire: You ate what?

Harley: We ate sand.

Screenshot-1443

Claire: You ate SAND?

Harley: That’s right.

Screenshot-1451

Clarka: Screw writing, I’m gonna become a master inventor.

Malcolm: Is this the house where that scary mummy lady lives?

Screenshot-1459

Clarka: Oh, crap, where’s the shower?

Inside. But I think you just get singed the first time.

Screenshot-1460

Clarka: I’m pretty sure that’s not true. You can die the first time.

Really? Let me go look it up.

Screenshot-1461

Clarka: I DON’T THINK WE HAVE TIME!

Shush, it’ll only take a…

Screenshot-1465

Clarka: Don’t worry about it, I got it covered.  Hey, this is a lovely shade of orange.

Whoops.

Screenshot-1466

Clarka Kent was about a week from becoming a YA. She now rests next to her grandparents.

Screenshot-1467

Joey Jr. took it pretty hard. She had to console herself by having a blast on the trampoline.

Screenshot-1468

Dewey: Did something happen?

Screenshot-1469

Raging: So you just go around pickin’ up dead people?

Death: NO JUST THEIR SOULS.

Raging: That’s pretty cool.

Screenshot-1470

Guys, your sister is dead.

Clarkette: That would make a good Act III.

Clark: Dead sister won’t get this homework done any faster.

Screenshot-1479

Clark: Yep, knew that wouldn’t fly as a skip school excuse. Glad I did my homework.

Wow, Harley’s a real jerk. Making his son, niece, and nephew all go to school the morning after his niece dies.

Screenshot-1486

B. S.: While you all were mouring, I went and did something about it.

Clarka: I’m baaack…

Oh, great, another monster in the house. I really should have named this legacy the Addams Family.

Clarka: The Addams Family was just weird. I think you mean The Munsters.

Oh hush, no one likes The Munsters.

Screenshot-1487

Clarka: Back to inventing.

Screenshot-1493

Clarka: NOT AGAIN.

You can’t die twice.

Clarka: I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THAT CHANCE, GO GET HELP.

Screenshot-1496

Harley will save you.

Clarka: Well, I’m doomed then.

Screenshot-1497

Harley: Help.  HELLP.

Clarka: THEN DO IT ALREADY!

Screenshot-1499

Luckily, all mummies carry fire extinguishers.

Screenshot-1505

In honor of all Beef’s rooting through people’s garbage, breaking into their mailboxes, and disguising herself as small shrubbery, the mayor gave her an award.

Screenshot-1506

Is that a letter opener?

Screenshot-1517

Beef Supreme is finally becoming an elder.  The Kents decided to have their first huge party in a while. Even Monk and Gurton showed up.

Screenshot-1518

B. S.: Of course, I’m still a mummy. (sigh)

Blonde Lady: HA HA HA. You’re still funny looking!

Screenshot-1521

Clarkette: What’s a birthday party without catfish?

Mmmm… Cake and catfish.

Screenshot-1525

Clarkette is such a natural fisherwoman, she even levels in fishing when she dreams about it.

Screenshot-1528

Dewey: How come I don’t get a party in the park?

You’re the one who likes staying home so much. Maybe if you went to your games, I’d give you a real party.

Screenshot-1530

Dewey: Can I retire now?

Sure, but only in the Brett Favre meaning of the word.

Screenshot-1532

Joey Jr. Breckman is now a Hit Movie Composer.

J. J.: Yep, my score for Saw XIV put me over the top.

Screenshot-1533

And then, cause I’ve never done it before, I gave her a midlife crisis. She’s now a Born Saleswoman, Natural Cook, Loves the Outdoors, Childish, and Neat.

J. J.: Oh my! This dollhouse is a MESS!

Screenshot-1536

Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.. the heir is becoming a Young Adult!

Clark: Why don’t I get a party in the…

SHUT UP.

Screenshot-1537

Control of the household has now passed over to Clark. And his last trait is Evil.

Screenshot-1539

Now it’s Clarkette’s turn. She even skills up fishing when blowing out candles.

Clarkette: I wish for a fish.

On a dish?

SWISH!

Screenshot-1542

Clarkette is now a party animal.

Clarkette: And it’s not a party unless you’re in your underwear!

Screenshot-1545

Raging: I’m scared, what if I turn ugly?

Screenshot-1546

Raging: I worried for nothing.

Mr. Bull is now a hopeless romantic.

Screenshot-1550

Clarka: Wait, ghosts can age up too?

Screenshot-1552

Clarka is now inappropriate.

Clarka: Who invited the help?

Screenshot-1553

What’s that on the stove?

Screenshot-1554

Clarka: It’s a detonator.

Screenshot-1558

The explosion also hit the nursery.

Screenshot-1559

Yeah, I guess Clarka is a Talking Heads fan.

Screenshot-1562

Three Hundred Sixty Five Degrees

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

Screenshot-1563

Even Clarka’s panicking, and she started this whole mess.

Screenshot-1564

Clarkette: This house is just too crazy for me, me and Raging are moving out.

And so they did, and then story progression made them go steady. First cousins, going steady.

Well, Clarka, I hope you learned your lesson.

Screenshot-1567

Clarka: Yep, blow stuff up in OTHER people’s houses, not your own.

And that concludes Book Two. Next time we finally start Book Three: Clark Kent.

Sergeant O’Leary is walkin’ the beat, at night he becomes a bartender.

Screenshot-1258

And that’s what he was doing when Harley the Mummy stole his patrol car.  Darn those kleptomaniac mummies!

Screenshot-1263

And meanwhile, Beef Supreme has backslid on her hiding skills.  And once again it’s the old people she’s spying on.

Old Man: What do you mean you don’t like Andy Griffith?

Screenshot-1270

Harley wins Teacher of the Year, probably cause he keeps the kids entertained after school.

Harley: It was a graveyard smash!

Screenshot-1272

Every morning Harley walks with the kids the mile from the house to the bus stop.

Screenshot-1273

And then the bus takes off, not bothering to wait for the mummy.  Haven’t we all had those days watching the bus pull away? I always felt they could see me and were laughing.

Screenshot-1276

Nothing scarier than a teacher in the library!

Screenshot-1284

Harley: I’m gonna catch that bus next time!

Screenshot-1294

Should I make this the last of the stakeout shots? They crack me up every time.

Harley’s sister: I think someone’s watching me.

Screenshot-1306

Last time I mentioned that Clark and Clarka both rolled Illustrious Author.  Well, so did Raging.

Screenshot-1307

And so did Clarkette.

Screenshot-1309

And so Clark gets to work as well.

Screenshot-1310

Clarka also gets to writing. Isn’t this exciting?

Screenshot-1312

This shot is only to show that J. J. aged up to adult.

J. J.: Aren’t you going to show what I look like after?

Really? You don’t get how this works by now? YOU LOOK THE SAME.

Screenshot-1315

J. J.: Well, I’m an adult now, so I have to get serious with my skilling.

Adults turn off their cell phones when they’re IN A LIBRARY.

Screenshot-1318

Dewey was working on his martial arts skills when he got a call to do a skill opportunity.

Screenshot-1319

Dewey: Get more strength? Piece of cake.

Screenshot-1320

Dewey: Easiest opportunity ever.

Screenshot-1323

Clarka decides for her first painting she was going to tackle the hugest canvas she could find.

Screenshot-1385

That’s kind of impressive.

Screenshot-1336

Beef finally tops off the Private Investigator career so the town holds a celebration in her honor.  Any words Beef?

B. S.: A SIMBOT!

Screenshot-1337

Luke: I JUST WANTED TO SAY CONGRATS:(

Screenshot-1339

J. J.: So, I know that you’re a mummy… but can you…

Screenshot-1340

Ew…

Screenshot-1343

LTW updates: Joey Jr. finally made it to the symphonic branch of her career.

J. J.: This dress is so lame.

Screenshot-1346

And Dewey maxed out athletic.

Screenshot-1352

Whatever happened to the Transylvanian Twist???

Screenshot-1354

Suddenly, the whole family upped and moved to Sunset Valley! You know what that means!

Yep, I had like 3 Error Code 12s.

Screenshot-1355

Clarka: Wow! The bus came right up to our mailbox!

Yes, this is what normal people do who don’t have to create their own lot. Good Riddance, Twinbrook.

Screenshot-1356

Clarka: I can’t believe I got a boy to take me to his house.

Screenshot-1357

Probably cause this boy and his family are weirder than you, Clarka.

Screenshot-1360

Clarka: How about if I don’t bathe and talk to myself?

OK, you win.

Screenshot-1361

Looks like Tamara Donner found the trampoline!

Screenshot-1362

See, I called her Tamara Donner instead of making up a name for her.

Screenshot-1363

That’s because I’ve played Sunset Valley QUITE a few times. So at least for a generation I won’t have to write names down.

Screenshot-1364

Um.  I should make sure she’s OK. I guess.

Screenshot-1367

Birthday time (AGAIN).

Screenshot-1369

Clark gets the trait Eccentric.

Clark: BEEP BEEP.

Yep, that’s pretty Eccentric.

Screenshot-1373

Clarka: This was such a special occasion, I took a bath.

Screenshot-1375

Congrats, Clarka, you are now Hot-Headed!

Clarka: SCREW YOU.

Screenshot-1376

Clarkette: Hope it’s chocolate for me!

Screenshot-1380

Clarkette rolls Lucky.

Clarkette: I sure don’t feel Lucky.

Screenshot-1382

Raging: Yes, we’re gonna have a party, party.

Screenshot-1384

Raging is now a bookworm. Do something Bookworm-y!

Raging: I’d rather eat cake.

Screenshot-1390

Beef goes out on a case and is surprised to see it’s Gurton! He moved as well.

Gurton: Good luck movin’ up cause I’m…. movin’ out!

Screenshot-1393

B. S.: I don’t know why I’m bothering to dust for prints, it’s obvious that no-good roommate of his, Luke, did it.

Screenshot-1397

Dewey: Watch me break this space rock.

OK.  (The screenshot I’ll get of him breaking his hand will be hilarious.)

Screenshot-1400

Dewey: Hai-yah!

Darn.

Screenshot-1403

Clarkette: Hey, next time you’re using the “soften terrain” tool, make sure you don’t have moveobjects on, genius.

Why?

Screenshot-1401

Clarkette: I CAN’T MOVE!

Oops.

Screenshot-1405

The good news is Beefy got an award for solving her last case. The bad news is she lost a whole lot of friends in the move, so she’s got to earn her charisma challenge rewards all over again.

Screenshot-1406

B. S.: Do you realize that everyone you know will someday die?

Yeah, this is going to take awhile.

Screenshot-1411

Harley: WOOLY BULLY…. WOOLY BULLY!

Screenshot-1412

Raging: Ugh, Dad, you’re a real jerk sometimes.

Screenshot-1413

Harley: Principal.  PRINCIPALLLLL!

Raging: I know Dad, I know.

J. J.: Let’s make this dual guitars!

Someone’s not getting any sleep tonight.

Screenshot-1417

B. S.: Thanks for inviting me over, Pauline. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie tonight.

Screenshot-1419

Pauline: My TV is broken.

B. S.: Your TV is broken?

Pauline: My TV is broken.

Screenshot-1422

B. S.: Let me give fixing this a shot.

Pauline: GO GO ELECTROCUTION!

B. S.: What?

Pauline: Nothing.

Screenshot-1423

B. S.: Dammit, the movie’s over. Hey where’s Pauline?

Hank: She had to go. Hey, have you seen Sergeant O’Leary’s car?