Archive for the ‘Clark’ Category

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So with the addition of Hungry Lyktha Wolff to the household it’s time for my favorite (sarcasm) activity, toddler skilling! Harley teaches Hungry how to Walk Like an Egyptian.

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Meanwhile, Kent Kent seems to be a popular attraction. Stand in line to hold the baby!

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Harley then teaches Hungry to talk like an Egyptian.

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Apparently, Egyptians are violent people.

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While watching TV with his mom, Ethan has an idea for dinner.

Ethan: Let’s go to the Golden Corral, or I’ll hit you with a frying pan until you agree.

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Charlene reads “Being a Spare For Dummies” with tips on how to find a house after you’re ceremoniously kicked out on your YA birthday, and the joys of being on Free Will while your Simmer ignores you.

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Lakisha: Hmm, I suspect the Stephen King section is haunted.

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Ghost: Wait, don’t zap me, I was just here to pose for a READ poster!

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Lakisha: Can’t you read, ghosts at the park must be on a leash!

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Lakisha: Now off to sell these spirits to the science lab!

You sell souls to the lab? How do you sleep at night?

Lakisha: I don’t, I have a moodlet manager.

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Reading books on logic, is there anything more boring to read?

Lakisha: Clark Kent’s Autobiography.

Good point.

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We added a new member to the family, Kermit the Frog!  Next chapter, I’ll probably have pictures of Kermit dead when I forget to feed him.

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Maid: Party Time! I get the day off!

Um, I never said that.

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Lakisha: I wish I could have a normal hairdo for everyday!

Darlene: OW THERE IS A DOOR IN ME.

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Lakisha: Yay, I look normal now!

Yeah, should I kick her out?

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I got a notification that City Hall was going to have a ceremony for Lakisha’s Soul Selling accomplishments, but when I got there I found the ceremony wasn’t going to be held that day. Instead, it was “We love Cop Shows” day.

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This kid thinks we have enough Cop Shows on TV, thank you.

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I couldn’t think of a word for poop that rhymes with “Walk” so Clark taught Hungry how to use the toilet.

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Just in time, because now Hungry will become a child.

Harley: All this cake, and never a cake for me.

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Sparkle and Fade!

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To go with Hates the Outdoors and Clumsy, Hungry has added Eccentric.

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And she still has the biggest eyes.  I’ll keep throwing up these stylist shots, because I will probably be keeping her as a ghost.

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Finally, it was time for Lakisha’s award ceremony.  Look, Alice in Wonderland came.

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Mayor Burnout: Dude, thank you for rounding up Sunset Valley’s deceased loved ones’ souls and donating them to science to perform who knows what kind of experiments on, probably to use to make weapons.

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Clarka: Yay for ghostbusting!

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Mayor Burnout would like to remind you this is an election year, and he needs your vote.

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Lakisha: I busted your ghosts lady, could you please move so I can leave?

Lakisha, you could walk around her.

Lakisha: NO! I have to go down the RIGHT side of the steps!

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It’s Kent Kent’s birthday. I keep having birthdays, and the maid thinks it means he can eat cake then go home, so the house is getting to be a mess.

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Kent Kent keeps the famous Breckman eyes in the family for another generation.

But we had TWO cakes out… so who else gets a birthday?

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HARLEY GETS A BIRTHDAY!

And Clark looks WAY too happy about it.

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Harley even gets a spazzy new green skirt to welcome into Elderhood.  Does this mean Harley will only be with us another 20 days or so? Time will tell.

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While Lakisha has made it easily to level 10 ghostbusting, while also having a kid, Ethan is still slowly climbing the Science ladder.  He is now level 7.

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Lakisha keeps collecting spirits on her free time, and one of the places she hits is the old Wolff household. Of course, Thornton and Morganna no longer live here, and new people have moved in… but they never cleaned up Clarka’s mess. There’s still scrap all over the floor on no furniture.

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Personally, I think this town has a bigger problem than idle ghosts. It’s time to create a Childbusting career.

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The Spectrum Legacy had its thumbs down fish hating shots, I have the toddlers biting dolls shots.

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Finally, Lakisha’s maternity leave ended (Yep, she was an elder on maternity leave) and she could go back to busting ghosts who dress like it’s 1599.

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Mo: Wise guy, eh?

Lakisha: Coitanly!

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Kirk Duran: Good work on that turning ghosts into plutonium project you’ve been working on. We should be able to nuke Twinbrook soon.  That way the Sunset Valley Llamas will never lose to the Twinbrook Llamas again.

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Ethan: I’ll feel better about all the deaths I’m causing if I get a promotion.

Kirk: No problem. Here’s your new coat.

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Ethan: Hey this looks like my OLD coat.

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Hungry gets invited over to a friend’s house, and does what all ghosts do. Nap in your bed.

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One more birthday party.  The nap didn’t help Hungry much, I guess.

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Charlene is now a couch potato, and her LTW is Possession is 9/10ths of the law. And then I threw her out of the house, forgetting to get a decent after shot of her.  Ethan went and had his Adult party without even noticing his sister making the phone call and leaving.

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Lakisha: Why do I keep having to bust ghosts who dress silly, but women who dress like hookers get off the hook?

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Finally, the town gets enough plutonium to destroy Twinbrook once and for all, and hold another ceremony for Lakisha.  Half the celebrants don’t even know which way to face.

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Oh, and Mayor Burnout lost the re-election in a landslide.

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For her second reward, Lakisha gets this nifty model cemetery. She puts it next to the two keys to the city she received in the first ceremony. (I left, and got a notification I missed the ceremony, then went back and got another one. I think Mayor Burnout was forgetful.)

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Clark: Hey, why’s everything gray? 

Two reasons: this house takes forever to load, and you died.

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Death shows up and I still wait for the furniture to load.

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Death: CLARK, YOUR TIME IS UP.

Wait, I only have the dresser loaded.

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OK, finally, I can get the death shot now.

Death: I ALREADY TOOK HIM.

Sigh.  I like this house and all, but the load times mean it won’t be making the move to Barnacle Bay.

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Clark gets buried in the creepy graveyard behind the house, for now.  He was 102, a new record for the legacy.

Miscellaneous other news: Both Raging Bull and Clarkette died, and Clarka married Kenya Beaulieu, who is half her age easily.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

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Ethan: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land!

You DO have a hammer.

Ethan: And I’m hammering in the morning!

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After several days living in the new house, I finally noticed the treasure chests. I’m very observant.

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Now Ethan updates the computer’s graphics, I guess by shoving a graphic card in the usb port.

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This happens all through out this chapter until I got tired of it not doing anything besides making people dance up and down, and finally disabled auto-light.  The Kents aren’t very flammable.

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Recognize the tired ghost?  Yep, it’s Thornton Wolff.

Thornton: I took my own death much more calmly than this fire.

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People who play with fire wet the bed, Charlene.

Charlene: Don’t you ask me about Old Lady Semple’s Social Security checks no more. CIBOLA! CIBOLA! Bumpity Bump!

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Maid to the rescue!

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And then he got overly pumped about it. It was quiet creepy.

Maid: I put out the fire! I AM SO FRICKING AWESOME!

Someone picked the wrong career I guess.

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Ethan and Lakisha bond over a game of chess.

Ethan: I will defeat you, burn you, and stick you in an urn!

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Lakisha: I will set you on fire.

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Lakisha: Then I will call all your friends and make them listen to your screams.

Maybe bond isn’t the right word.

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Surprisingly though, Ethan is a gracious loser.

Ethan: Good game, hon.

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Ethan: But this game will end with your hideous hairdo up in flames.

Or not.

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I think this chess board brings out the worst in people. In the pond right next to it, you can clearly see other victims of the cursed board.

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Late that night, someone deposited a package on the Kent doorstep.

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Clark: Hey Darlene! Did you order a baby from Amazon or something?

It’s your niece, Hungry Lyktha Wolff, Clark.

Clark: No, she’d be a teenager by now.

Hey, your guess is as good as mine on that one.

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Joey Jr: Hey you cheap bastard, why did you never buy us one of these when I was alive?

Yeah, you can walk through walls, go to the afterlife, explore anywhere you want, and you come and do this.

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Ethan sleeps with his mother! EWWWWW!

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Darlene: It’s nice having a little one in the house again! Don’t you ever grow up!

That’s a distinct possibility.

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Fortunately for Harley, the game notified us immediately the next morning it was Hungry’s birthday.

Harley: CAKE! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE!

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And Hungry finally reaches toddlerhood.

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She has the biggest eyes I have ever seen.

Hungry: The better to see you with.

I better not ask about her teeth.

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Looks like Ken asked instead.

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Hmm, what is Hungry enjoying so much?

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Of course, ghosts love video games.

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And now for the latest in the “Mummies Doing Modern Things” series, we have Mummy in a Race Car!

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Lakisha finally gets a promotion to Ghost Fashion Buster.

Lakisha: Your hat looks ridiculous. BANISH!

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Harley decides to make a meal for Hungry. In case you can’t tell, it’s Ambrosia.  Yeah, I know, quite an expensive meal for a toddler.

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Clark helps by grinding it into a disgusting looking paste.  While he’s doing that, someone “helpfully” lets Hungry out of her high chair.

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Clark: Then I’m not serving it! It’s all cold and ruined now.

I’m sure it will be fine.

Clark: No, I am putting it down here and refuse to do ANYTHING but clean it up by throwing it in the garbage.

In an unusual instance in solidarity, everyone else in the household also refuses to serve the rare lifefruit/deathfish dish to Hungry. I hate this game sometimes.

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Take two!

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This time, Harley turns the glowy pretty dish into a bowl of brown disgusting mush.

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Hungry: Yay! Food!

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Then Hungry got the 7 day moodlet for the best meal. Not the result I was hoping for. Sigh.

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Lakisha: Your hat is worse than the last one! BANISH! Oh, and Moe Howard, don’t you go anywhere.

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Lakisha: Your hair fills me with the urge to defecate! BANISH!

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Ethan: You know, I wish you’d wear your hair like that more often.

Lakisha: I thought you liked my do.

Ethan: That’s before I found out about the spiders living in it.

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Lakisha: You say the most romantic things, come here.

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Sigh, looks like I’m gonna be back up to eight household members again.

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The house is crowded enough with the random ghosts leaving me presents. Thanks for the rotten waffles, Gwen Glover, whoever you are!  (The spooky house came with like 4 random ghosts to go with the dead Breckmans and Kents I brought over.)

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Ethan, that game works better with two people.

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Lakisha: What’s with all the damn medieval three stooges fans in this town! BANISH!

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Ghosts: Hey, what did we do?

Lakisha: Nothing, but I have a quota.

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Lucky for the homeowner Lakisha can only banish ghosts, or she’d be on the list too.

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Lakisha: A caveman? What the heck happened here, did you die on the set of a Geico commercial?

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Joey also can’t figure out the proper way to use a foosball table. TWO PEOPLE. It’s not that hard.

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A rare family gathering in the living room.  Ethan and Clark have probably the fifth conversation they’ve had in their whole lives, while Darlene plays Madden. And of course, Hungry the Ghost eats  a doll!

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Ethan gives us a quick look at the level five science uniform before rushing off to work.

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In case you didn’t figure out by now. Lakisha is pregnant.

Lakisha: I wonder what it will be.

I bet it’s a baby. Actually, in this family, even that’s not a guarantee.

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On maternity leave, Lakisha looks hard for any ghosts she can bust on her free time.

Lakisha: None in the graveyard. Odd.

Well, it is Noon.

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Ethan, close to another promotion, asks his boss over.

Ethan: A SIMBOT!

Two hours sim time later, Harley and Ethan still would rather just go “A SIMBOT!” than invite their guest inside, so Luke “decided” to retire, and give Ethan a human boss.  Hey, he was 200, I felt he could use a break.

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Clark! What the heck are you doing!

Clark: I’m evil.

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting.

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Once again, this proves me theory that Germans love David… I mean Ghosts love Video Games.

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Lakisha: Hi, I’m married to your great grandson. I’m a ghost buster!

Andy: Urp.

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Lakisha: Now if you excuse me, I got to scan for ghosts. Nope, nothing.

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Lakisha: I shall discover a star!

It’s day time.

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Lakisha: Found one! I’ll put it down in my notebook.

I think that’s the sun. They paid her anyway.

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OH MY GOD! TWO PEOPLE ARE PLAYING FOOSBALL!

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Ethan: Like my new level six work outfit?

That’s the most ridiculous lab coat I’ve ever seen.

Ethan: Thank you!

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Charlene: I found a house here. Can I live here now?

Sure, fine by me.

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Would it kill you to clean up counter space in the kitchen?

Lakisha: Probably.

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Lakisha: Yum, macaroni and cheese!

And motor oil and saw dust.

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Clark: DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THAT TIME I FLEW IN A PLANE!

Charlene: Whatever, dad, I’m trying to do my homework.

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Charlene has a male caller!

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While Charlene answers the door, Lakisha goes into labor.

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In an attempt to screw up my screenshots, Lakisha picks the smallest room in the house to have her baby.

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Charlene: Hi, Rudolph.

Rudolph Goth: PANTIES!

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After being greeted by a teenage girl in her underwear, which has got to be some sign of interest, Rudolph opts for cake instead. I think he’s marriage material.

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And the heir is: A BOY! So the Kent name will continue another generation. Sigh. Out of frustration, I named him Kent Kent. He’s athletic and evil.  Have we found our first Emperor of Evil in the family?

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After three generations have grown up in the house that Andy Breckman built threw together at random, it was time the family packed up and moved on…

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Charlene: You forgot me!

She could have just stayed behind, I was just putting them on a vacant lot until the new house was ready.

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Yep, I downloaded a Mod The Sims house. I stink at building, and wanted to use a real house. Also, I just love waiting 5 minutes for the graphics to load.

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Ethan: Hey, look there’s a tomb down here.

Be careful, there might be a mummy.

Ethan: Oh boy! Maybe he’ll read me a story.

I guess raising kids with a mummy has interesting side effects.

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Mummy with really long Egyptian name I didn’t write down: LOVE.  LOOOOOOVEEEE!

I guess he’s friendly.

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And the object of his affection is Harley!

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Ethan, on the other hand, he doesn’t care for.

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And the big prize at the end of the tomb is…

Ethan: Nectar.

Well, that could be a nice collection…

Ethan: Two bottles.

Set the mummy on fire.

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Ethan: I liked my old garden better.

Well, you just mastered gardening, so you don’t need it.

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Ethan: I caught a frog.

Kermit: Why are there so many songs about rainbows? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

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Ethan: Now to max out fishing at the only place spookier than home.

Ghost: Boo!

Ethan: Are you kidding me? My house is haunted, and my aunt is a flaming ghost just like you.  And my wife is a GHOST BUSTER! Who’s scared now?

Ghost: Oh, look at the time, I’m missing “Paid Programming.”

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Ethan: Mastered fishing, and caught a death fish.

Ah, so that’s what “You’ll catch your death” means.

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Ethan: The library isn’t as much fun any more now that I’m allowed to be here.

Try working in one, it gets even worse. (Librarian)

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Darlene: Ha ha, your furniture texture isn’t loaded!

Consignment store guy: Do you want me to go to YOUR house with a calendar?

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Guess what I sold right after this picture was taken?  Yeah, I’m mean, but I really can’t stand hearing the same simlish songs over and over, and Harley won’t do anything but dance and work out if I let him.

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Ethan moves on to handiness, and manages not to electrocute himself.  I really want to see what Lakisha would do with a ghost spouse.

Ethan: What?

Nothing.

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Speaking of which, lets see what Winston Zeddemore is up to.

Lakisha: I want to be Peter Venkman!

No.

Lakisha: Ray Stantz?

No.

Lakisha: Not even Egon Spangler?

Nope.

Lakisha: Meany.

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Lakisha: This house is a mess.

Yeah, you’re busting ghosts here several chapters too late.

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Look, it’s the oldest member of the Breckman-Kent family!

Luke: DOORBELL. MAYBE I WILL FINALLY FIND A NEW FRIEND. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE MY BUDDIES MONK AND GURTON DIED, AND MY WI-

Just shut up already and get the door.

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Luke: IT IS MY EMPLOYEE, ETHAN KENT.

Ethan: A simbot!  Why was I here again? Oh yeah. Can I—A SIMBOT!

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Hours (and I do not exaggerate) later…

Ethan: Oh, right. Can I have a promotion?

Luke: SURE YOU DO NOT WANT TO YELL “A SIMBOT” AGAIN?

Ethan: A SIMBOT? Where?

Luke: JUST TAKE YOUR PROMOTION AND GO.

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Of course, Luke then gave him the day off so he wouldn’t earn another promotion too soon (Can’t have THAT now, can we?) But we had a productive day anyway.  Except for no one getting killed.

Ethan: What?

Nothing.

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Ethan: I wonder how I can improve the meal quality from my stove. I know, beat the glass top range with a hammer!

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Ethan: Hmm, how shall I make the microwave cook faster.

Bang it with a hammer?

Ethan: BANG IT WITH A HAMMER!

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Ethan: Hmm, make the fireplace auto-light…

Bang it with a hammer?

Ethan: BANG IT WITH A HAMMER!

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Meanwhile Winston–

Lakisha: Lakisha!

Winston is continuing to bust ghosts, and advance faster than Ethan. Here she is in the Bachelor home. Toni, the bald chick in the back is the town tart. Her hairstyle draws the guys like flies.

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And then she sells all the ghosts to the science lab. I don’t know what they do with them, but I hope it’s not keep them in a container for William Atherton to turn off, and set all the ghosts free and cause chaos everywhere.

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Ethan: Time to upgrade the trash compactor.

Bang it with a hammer?

Ethan: Don’t be silly.

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There’s a strange woman in our shower!

Lakisha: It’s me! I’m washing my hair!

Oh, hi Winston.

Lakisha: (sighs)

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Finally found the computer Clark?

Clark: It was on the third floor. Took me 2 days to climb all the stairs.  I need a laptop.

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Harley: LAPTOP? NO SEE LAPPPPPTOOOOPPPP!

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Ah! Strange woman in the bedroom!

Lakisha: It’s me La— Winston. Did you expect me to sleep in that hair?

Kind of.

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Oh yeah, Ethan, I forgot to mention something.

Ethan: FIRE! FIRE!

That fireplace…

Ethan: Yeah?

It WAS fireproof, before you made it auto-light.

Ethan: Oops. Sorry.

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Don’t apologize to me, you should apologize to Mr. Pyrophobe.

Around this time, Lakisha was finally able to change her lifetime wish from Tomb Explorer.  Unfortunately, they were all still WA picks.

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So I chose the 20,000 worth of relics one. Piece of cake. Thanks Beef Supreme!

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B. S.: Don’t mention it.

Oh, hai.

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Here’s America’s Next Food Network Star, HARLEY BULL!

Harley: Egggggs.  EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS!

Ok, he got cut in the first round.

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Charlene: I wish I wasn’t a Kent!

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Charlene: I’m starving! What do I do?

Eat your cake? Yeah, you’re still a Kent, all right.

Charlene: Are you sure?

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You just aged up at a 8 AM birthday party in your underwear. You’re a Kent. And a kleptomaniac!

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AND, you don’t know how to play foozball with another person properly.

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AND… You watch the kids channel as a teenager.

Charlene: OK, OK, I get it.

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Ethan: Don’t I look bad ass on my bike?

In that outfit? No.

Ethan: But I’ll get a promotion today, that’ll get me a new outfit!

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Yeah, that one is TOTALLY bad ass.

Ethan: Shut up.

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Lakisha: How does the poltergeist lift this shower without totally destroying the tile?

I dunno, same way it sucked Carol Ann into the TV?

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Hey, wait a minute, I know this homeowner! Hi Clarka, how’s the family?

Clarka: Family?

You know, your daughter? Hungry Lyktha?

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Clarka: Oh, her. She’s over there.

Um, nice parenting. Hey wait a minute, why is she STILL a baby?

Clarka: Who?

Nevermind.

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Lakisha: Hmm, maybe I should introduce myself to my Aunt-in-law.

Clarka: OK, you can leave now.

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Lakisha: Not even a thank you.

Well, that’s Clarka!  And with that, I think it’s also time for YOU to leave. Bye now!

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Clark and Darlene are looking forward to the new Barnacle Bay location.

Darlene: This pirate bar is neat.

Clark: Can I go back to my writing now?

OK, so Darlene is looking forward to  the new Barnacle Bay location.

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Charlene: Ugh, this xylophone is out of tune.

No one taught you to talk yet.

Charlene: I taught myself, everyone ignores me but Harley.

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Charlene: Mallet sucks! MUST EAT!

Careful with that, when I was your age I shoved a lincoln log through my soft palate and had to go to the hospital.

Charlene: Why would you tell that story to a toddler?

I’m not good with kids.

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Ethan: This is embarrassing, in order to not get arrested for breaking curfew, I have to take my MOM to the library.

This strategy didn’t even work. Around 3 AM, the cops called Darlene into work, then arrested Ethan once Darlene left.  Sneaky bastards.

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Harley stole the family another TV, so what better use for it than put it in the playroom and tune it to the Horror channel?

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Everybody was Kung Fu fighting! Those cats were… um… slow as molasses.

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Ethan: Who are you?

Charlene: That’s what I was wondering.

We’re not a real close family.

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Ethan: I’m trying to study and some one brought their crying brat to the library.

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It’s your sister. Clark brought her since you need an adult to go to the library at night, big boy.

Ethan: Well I have some benadryl.

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That’s so wrong.

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After he got off work, Harley came to replace Clark so he could go back to writing. Then the toddler round up squad deposited Charlene at home, on her comfy hard wood floor. Special Delivery!

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Harley left the library around 7 AM, so it led to this.

Clark: YOU ARE SUCH A NO GOOD SON! BEING AT THE LIBRARY AT SEVEN IN THE MORNING!

Ethan: I’m such a rebel.

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Isn’t she cute? I think the hospital made a mistake and gave us the wrong kid.

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Charlene: The computer man grabbed me!

He’s actually your grandfather, not just “the guy who sits at the computer.”

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Ethan: I finally got level 10 professional writer, and only got 5000 to show for it, to add on to the 1.6 million I already had in cash. So I guess I’ll try to socialize with my family now.

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Ethan: I am so going to nuke your football team.

Clark: Socializing sucks.  I’m losing 88-0. This isn’t fun at all.

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And so Clark goes back to being “the computer man” to his kids.

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Charlene, you know you can watch TV in the nursery now.

Charlene: I like watching it from behind the bar, 15 feet away.

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Ethan: The door to the dishwasher doesn’t “Feel Right” so I took off the electronic panel, and twisted some dials.

Watching the “repair” animation never makes any sense to me.

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Ethan: Now instead of opening the case to fix the computer, I’m going to shove a screwdriver in the disk drive.

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Darlene: Why are birthdays always in our underwear?

Because I do them at 6 AM when I get the message so I don’t forget. So sue me.

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Darlene: I  am going to wish for my son to be a doctor!

Clark: Me too!

He’s been working on becoming a scientist since the day he became a teenager. Do you two know your son at all? (They both really did get wishes to see Ethan become a level 5 doctor.)

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Darlene: Ugh, I look like the senior citizen version of G. I. Jane.

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I know you can’t really tell here, but this is Darlene maxing her last work skill, Logic.

Darlene: You took the screenshot too late, you’re a bad…

I KNOW.

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Ethan, the pond is on the other side of that rock, there’s no way you can catch something standing there.

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Ethan: You were saying?

This game really makes no sense to me at times.

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Ethan: Awesome, it’s just what I wanted!

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Ethan: POND CAKE!

Yum?

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Ethan: Uh oh, maybe I shouldn’t have eaten the pond scum on it.

No, this is normal, it IS your birthday.

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For his final trait, Ethan rolled artistic.

Ethan: Artistic, Loner, Hates the Outdoors, Easily Impressed, and Good. Which one of those traits screamed Scientist to you?

OK, OK, next heir I PROMISE I’ll let age to YA before I lock in a LTW.

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Thornton: Nice party!

Yeah, I left Thornton’s Urn in the “Death Room,” so he pops in from time to time.

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Ethan: Well, off to get a job as a scientist.

Good for you. Most sims with 1.6 million simoleons and a Ferrari wouldn’t even bother to get a job.

Ethan: Wait, I don’t have to get a job?

Keep driving.

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Charlene: Wait, I don’t want to grow up.

Harley: Birthdays aren’t so bad. Although, I haven’t had one since I moved in with this family.

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Charlene: You spin me round round, baby, right round like a record… What’s a record?

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Charlene is now grumpy.

Charlene: I AM NOT! YOU JUST STUFF IT.

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Ethan’s new responsibility is to find a spouse to bring the family the next heir.  Think the Lamborghini will help?

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He stops by the Bachelor home to see if Toni was home, but she wasn’t. However, he found out Toni’s mother and sister are both named Holly Bachelor, which is just too weird to him. (At least the two Darlene Bunchs were Aunt and Niece.)

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Then he met Lakisha Daniels. Who is perfect for this legacy, for obvious reasons.

Ethan: Are you single?

Lakisha: Have you seen my hair?

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Ethan: Wanna go steady?

Lakisha: Seriously, have you seen my hair?

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Ethan: Will you marry me?

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Lakisha: No sim in this town will even talk to me, so YES!

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The two exchange rings right at the bistro, and Lakisha Daniels becomes Lakisha Kent.

Lakisha is Brave, Adventurous, Virtuoso, Perfectionist, and Friendly. Her LTW is to explore all the tombs (Not happening.) She’s also a GHOSTBUSTER!

Tune in next time for GHOST BUSTING! And endless Ray Parker Jr. references! And probably a new house, because 1.6 million is burning a hole in my pocket.

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What most people don’t know about the ancient Egyptians, is that they were very good at fixing computers.

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And Clark is the most interesting heir ever. Write, writer, write! WRITE WRITE WRITE!

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Beef Supreme finally decides to get healthy, so she goes jogging. Seems like only yesterday she was passing out playing tag.

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And a little swimming as well.

B.S.: I don’t want to be a funny looking ghost.

Isn’t there an easier way?

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B.S.: I completely forgot we had this.

Probably because you lost interest once you found out it wasn’t a giant hot dog maker.

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Well, that’s better, but still…

B.S.: Yeah, I still look like a mummy.

Speaking of mummies, what is Harley up to?

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Now that he has a bit of handiness, Harley decided to just randomly beat on things with a hammer just to see what happens.

Harley: Tinker.. TINKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beef will kill you if you break her food replicator.

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She’s got other things on her mind right now though.

B.S.: Basically, I just don’t want to look like a mummy.

Stylist: So, like a new hairstyle?

B.S.: No. No. My face.

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Stylist: Paisley really suits you.

B.S.: NO NO NO! YOU DID NOTHING FOR MY FACE AT ALL.

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Stylist: Do you like flowers better?

B. S.: Dammit, just give me the makeup.

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B.S.: Finally! I look like a normal person.

I think you overdid the makeup.

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B.S.: What do you mean?

Stylist: How about this dress?

B.S.: Fine, fine, I’ll take it.

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I guess you were just getting gussied up to have a date with Death!

B.S.: Story of my life.

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Death: I’M SORRY I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE BEEF SUPREME KENT, HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

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B.S.: I’m right here, I had some work done.

Darlene: Ow, your scythe is in my eye.

Clark: I need to get back to my writing. Bye Mom!

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Darlene: So, you just take everyone eventually?

Death: USUALLY WHILE THEY SLEEP. WELL, GOOD NIGHT!

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Darlene: I think we should have another baby. I mean, life is pretty short.

Clark: It might make a good book!

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Darlene: I’m not in the mood anymore.

Clark: What’d I say?

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While everyone else went right back to normal, I took care of burying my first legacy born sim.  I guess I should have held a funeral, I’m a bad simmer.

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Darlene: Look, I’m not having a baby just for you to write a book about.

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Clark: Not even on a DARE?

Darlene: You know me too well.

Actually, he doesn’t, which is why it took three tries to get the couple to woohoo. They were practically strangers with Clark hiding behind the PC all the time. I told you, I’m a bad simmer.

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Harley: BANG BANG BANG!

EA is so accurate on their skill learning.

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Ethan: Why am I gardening?

You wanted to be a Creature Robot Cross Breeder. The science career needs fishing and gardening.

Ethan: I hate the outdoors.

Oh, I forgot that.

Ethan: And yet you let me lock in an outdoor job. You’re…

I know, I know! I’m a bad simmer!

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Ethan: Fishing is SOOOO much fun! I just LOOOOOOVE it.

You know, I could dump my first born heir rule any time now.

Ethan: Oh no! Then I’d have to move out of the ugliest house in Sunset Valley! How shall I ever cope!

Or I could just go back to playing World of Warcraft and delete this whole thing.

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Ethan: Better get to work fixing this tub so I can be the best scientist ever!

Glad you’re on board.

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Ethan: Awesome! I can read the skills INSIDE!

You might want to keep track of the time though.

Ethan: Nah, thanks to moodlet manager I don’t need to sleep.

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Ethan: I just got arrested.

Cop: You are out past curfew, and are therefore a juvenile delinquent!

Ethan: I was reading. In the library.

Cop: And I can’t think of anything more dangerous.

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Wow, tempting fate, are we?

Ethan: I’m not listening to some Glenn Beck-loving cop.

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Cop: Stop that readin’!

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Darlene: HA! I win the dare!

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Ethan: OK, it’s day time, can I read now?

Cop: Can’t talk now, busy. Hey baby, wanna get down with a cop?

Lady: Get off me! Not only am I married, I’m PREGNANT!

SVPD is by far the worst PD in the country.

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Lady: You’re telling me, look what they did to me when they caught ME reading after curfew!

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Aw, Ethan’s a widdle angel, donating to charity.

Ethan: Shut up.

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Darlene: Baby coming! Where’s my husband?

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You had to ask?

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Darlene: Fine, I’ll just deliver her myself. And name her Charlene.

Quaint.

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And Harley once again becomes the main caregiver of the child.

Harley: Baby. BABBBBYYYYYYYY!

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Harley: Thanks for the pond on the lot, I guess. There’s SOMETHING I can do in the middle of the night with this city’s insane curfew laws.

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Clarkette: Nyah, nyah, I’m an adult and can go anywhere I want at night, including other people’s lots uninvited!

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Wow, sweet wheels, Clark.

Clark: I thought I’d spend all this money before my son gave it all away to charity.

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Clark: Including the biggest underground garage ever.

You’re such a generous guy.

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The garden’s getting rather big.

Ethan: Yeah, but can you do something about these gnomes? They’re freaking me out.

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Ethan fishes so much, he starts skilling it in his sleep. I’m a bug abuser!

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Clark: Woah, what’s going on here?

You just wrote/painted your life away, and now you’re old.

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Clark: Drat.

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Clark: Oh well, back to work!

Most boring sim ever.

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And Ethan finally figures out he can read at home!

Ethan: Shut up, it’s EASIER at the library, that’s all.

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And one more birthday before we go.

Oh, I forgot earlier, Charlene is an absent minded virtuoso.

Harley: Bad simmer! BAD SIMMMM-

I KNOW ALREADY.

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And that’s all for today!

Charlene: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

At least someone is sad when the blog’s over.

Charlene: No, I’m hungry.

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Welcome back. Today we’re watching Ethan do his best impression of Sisyphus. I don’t know why they never learn it helps to fix the leak first.

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Clarka spent her LTH points to change her LTW to Gold Digger. I figured it suited her better, and besides I wasn’t going to do Illustrious Author twice.  And she already knew a rich old dude.

Thornton: I don’t like kids.

Clarka: Don’t worry, you won’t see our kids to toddlerhood.

Thornton: What?

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Clarka: You’re 89, shouldn’t you enjoy life while you can?

Thornton: I know you blew up my furniture, but making out totally makes up for it.

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Clarka: Marry me, and you can have a bed to sleep in again!

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Thornton: I can’t commit to something long term.

Clarka: You’ll be gone in a week tops!

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Clarka: C’mon you’ll have this every night.

Thornton: All Five of them?

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Thornton: I feel like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters.

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Clarka: How about now?

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Thornton: Why buy the cow when you can get the ectoplasm for free?

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Clarka: OK, you get some shut-eye, I’ll be in the other room.

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Thornton: Time to casually run again!

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Thornton: I shall casually stand over here, until the fire goes out.

Clarka: How about you just move in, we’ll take it slow.

Thornton: OK.

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Thornton: Now that I’m living here, I have a sudden urge to marry you.

Yeah, funny how that works.

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And so they got married, right then and there.

Thornton: Til death do us part? How does that work, you’re already dead.

Clarka: But you’re not… yet.

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Thornton: Jeez, you sure have a lot of fires here. Why are all these picnic tables so close together anyway?

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Thornton: I’m filled with the urge to urinate.

B. S.: Dude, you’re on fire.

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Darlene: I got this!

And then she put Thornton out. I wasn’t very happy.

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Thornton: I’m really not liking it here. I’m tired, I’m singed, and you’re constantly insulting me.

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Clarka: I have no idea why you’re so tired. *ZAP*

This is the most undignified I’ve ever seen Thornton.

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Thornton: I think I just urinated on the carpet.

OK, THIS is the most undignified I’ve seen Thornton.

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Thornton: I’ve pissed myself, I’m singed, smelly, and tired beyond belief. How can my life gets worse.

Clarka: Thornton, I have declared you a nemesis.

Thornton: What the hell did I do to you??

Clarka: I’ve just never liked your sideburns.

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Clarka: Now I’m pregnant with a baby Wolff.

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Darlene: Why all this focus on Clarka, she’s not even part of the heir bloodline.

Because you and Clark are so boring? OK, quick update. Darlene is a level 9 Secret Agent.

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She got an opportunity to learn Martial Arts.

Darlene: Wow, they didn’t even ask me to go to China first.

Yeah, I hate the opportunities that do that.

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Ethan got invited over to Johnpaul Jacobsen’s house.  Looks like Mortimer moved out when his parents died.

Ethan: What kind of name is Johnpaul?

Johnpaul: It’s not too bad, you should see my sister Georgeringo.

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Darlene: Look, I made yellow belt!

Still boring.

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Darlene: Boring??? Fine, I’ll show you interesting. Oh, and I got my LTW, International Super Spy.

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Darlene: See, I’m raiding the criminal warehouse.

You went into a rabbit hole, and later I got text. STILL BORING.

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Look who’s visiting for the first time in a long long time!

Gurton: Wait, you never invite people over. This must mean something.

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Gurton: I knew it!

So long Gurton. Beef has now outlived all her siblings.

B. S.: Yay for death flowers!

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Sim rule no. 1: Death never happens by itself.

Clarka: Why does it hurt so much to give birth to an ethereal baby?

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Thornton: I insist my child be born in the hospital!

Clarka: Shouldn’t you DRIVE then?

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It’s a girl! She was born with the traits Clumsy, and Hates the Outdoors.  Do you have a name, Clarka?

Clarka: Hungry Lyktha Wolff.

Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo.

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Clarka: OK, all the dressers lined up… Bookshelf blocking the door… detonator on the desk… Looks like we’re ready to go.

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Thornton: You put this dresser too close to the bed. I can’t get out.

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Clarka: You’re right honey! You’re trapped, and now the room is on fire!

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Thornton: I can’t get out of bed to respond properly to the fire!

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Thornton: It is nice and warm and comfy though.

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The rest of the family has their own response to the fire.

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Darlene: I can’t get to the fire to put it out!

You’re one floor directly below it. Did you even go upstairs to check?

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Funny how it stays to one room like that.

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No pressure on Thornton yet.

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Thornton: Could someone please move this dresser already? I am now on fire too.

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Thornton: My backside is on fire, and I’m getting rather put out.

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Thornton: Finally, most of the fire has gone out. But I have “Expire” set in my queue, but I can not do that properly with this dresser in the way!

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Clarka: Fine, I’ll put out the fire so you can die.

Thornton: Thank you kindly.

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Thornton: Hello! The dresser!

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Clarka: Got it.

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Thornton: That just made more fire! I can’t die properly in this mess!

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Clarka: Fine, I will put it out again. Why do you have to be so difficult, Thornton? … Thornton? … THORNTON!

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Thornton: …

Maybe this is the least dignified I’ve ever seen Thornton.

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Death: SORRY I AM SO LATE, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE TRAFFIC.

Clarka: I’m SO heartbroken.

Death: WHAT’S THE +20,000 MEAN?

Clarka: Oh, nothing.

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Clark: I’m Evil and all, so I don’t give a rat’s ass about your dead husband, but that’s the LAST time you will burn my stuff! GET OUT!

Clarka: You have my baby!

Clark: Oh, sorry. Take that too.

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And so Clarka and Hungry moved out, and Clark went back upstairs to hide away painting.

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Clark: Remember that fire we had? It was pretty cool.

B. S.: My son-in-law died, and you kicked out my daughter and grandchild over it.

Clark: STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

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Ethan: I wish I age up with a shirt on!

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Ethan: Score!

Nice hair too. So Ethan is now a loner, which should go well with his LTW I locked in as a child, Creature Robot Crossbreeder.

Ethan: Now I can learn gardening, so off to the library I go.

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Sandi French has confused the library with the beach.

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Ethan takes no notice, and just keeps on reading. Maybe this will be my last generation, if this does nothing for him.

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Also in the library was Ethan’s cousin, Darlene Bunch (Daughter of Ethan Bunch.) Confused? Yeah. Bunches don’t have that many names.  I have no idea what she’s so pissed about. Being a Bunch, I guess.

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Clark finally got level 10 painting, meaning he has his LTW, Illustrious Author completed! Yay! Now I just need to chain him back to his computer so he can get level 10 in the writing career. Which will probably take even longer, since it seems only the FIRST royalty payment counts.

Thanks for reading!  Tune in next time, when nothing gets set on fire or gets blown up. I think. Sorry.

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We got the phone call that Monk Breckman wasn’t going to be around much longer, so Clarka went over to visit her uncles.  Since Monk was about to die, Clarka decided not to blow his house up.

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Clarka invited her uncle home to say goodbye to his family. Monk had reached that stage of life where you think you are Jean Luc Picard.

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Monk: Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!

If I let Monk spend too much time with Ethan, the social worker will show up to take him away to prevent him from becoming a Trekkie.

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B. S.: Something happens and I’m Head over Heels.

Monk: We’re boldly going where no one has gone before.

Five feet off the ground? Every townie’s been there.

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Death: SORRY CAPTAIN, YOUR TIME IS UP.

Monk: OK, NOW I’m going where no one has gone before.

That’s probably true, I stuck him in Clarka’s inventory.

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Clark: I guess Uncle Monk died, cause I’m having a birthday!

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Clarka: What’s this “become a responsible adult” crap?

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Most unusual training regimen ever.

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$125 a day. Totally worth it!

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Yay! Ethan will finally get interesting!  One of these days I will totally start caking the little worms the day they’re born.

Maid: I just woke up. Time for free food?

Once again, $125. A day.

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He got the family cyan eyes.

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Ethan loves his mommy!

Ethan: Cause I don’t look like her!

Yeah, you caught a REAL lucky break there.

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Ethan loves his mummy!

Ethan: Cause I don’t look like him!

OK, you caught an even luckier break there.

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The whole family chipped in on Ethan’s skilling.

Ethan: And that’s the tale of our castaways, they’re here for a long long while.

J. J. is teaching him the classics.

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Clarka: You have to learn how to walk before you can learn how to run. And you have to learn to run cause you have to be a good distance from that detonator before it explodes.

Ethan: ‘splodes?

Ernie II: Yeah, ‘splodes. That’s why I’m Ernie II. And Bert’s nowhere to be seen.

Thinking about how Clarka is holding him up makes my head hurt.

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Ethan: Who’s this man behind me?

That’s your daddy. You won’t see him much cause he’s got a lot of books to write. In fact, probably time to hit him with a moodlet manager and chain him back to his desk!

Clark: Is this how Stephen King got famous?

Yes. Yes it is.

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Clarka had been so good for so long.. so it was bound to happen.  This time when the detonator went off, that chain reaction she hoped for at the last party finally happened.

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The heat is on!

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Gurton is the worst cop ever.

Gurton: I don’t know what to do!

Stand there, jump up and down, and yell. It’s so helpful!

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Darlene: I got this.

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Joey Jr. narrowly escapes the fire, but decides sleeping is more important than a shower.

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Although Harley hasn’t used a bathroom since Ethan’s dad was a toddler, he gives potty training a go.

Harley: Poop. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!

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Ethan: Banana jelly beans cow. THIS BOOK MAKES NO SENSE!

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J. J.: And this is the alphabet!

Ethan: But this letter is just this letter backwards! Same with these other two! Just looking at this makes me tired!

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Clark: Come on son, I got an idea.

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Ethan: You are right Daddy, books DO make more sense in the library.

Clark: Funny how that works.

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Ethan: Wait, what’s going on here.

J. J.: I probably shouldn’t have done this in front of the baby.

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J. J.: Hey, Death, couldn’t you have, you know, not have me drop dead in front of a small impressionable child?

Death: LOOK, I’VE HAD NO ROBES FOR WEEKS NOW. I JUST DON’T CARE ANYMORE.

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Joey Jr. joins the family cemetery, with the grave closest to the baked goods stand. Cause it’s good for business.

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Ethan: Square peg goes in square hole, round peg goes in round hole, triangle peg goes in triangle hole, and aunt Joey goes in coffin!

Yeah, he’s not TOO screwed up now.

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Ethan: And mallet goes in mouth!

Yeah, why not.

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Head does NOT go in potty. I draw the line there.

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Darlene: Um, don’t mind me, I have to do this for work.

Morgana: That’s ok, when you’re done, can I have a look? I need new furniture and stuff.

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Darlene: Yay, I’m finally an adult.

OK then, could you put your clothes in the hamper?

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Dewey: Things seem much more peaceful now that I’m dead.

Hmm, I would have thought differently of the idea of laying next to Andy Breckman forever.

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Meanwhile, Harley subtly stuck his reward from work in one of the many display cases in the basement. He’s hoping Darlene the cop doesn’t look too close.

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Ken: Here we go again. Hey kid, you have ANY idea how many generations of slobber I have on me?

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Clark: I guess I should be glad you aren’t making me write 24/7, but at least then I was SITTING.

Who’s the guy in the picture?

Clark: Me after I go completely pale and cranky from painting hours on end.

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And it’s birthday time again. Screenshot-1797

Ethan: I have the best parties ever, a mummy and ghost and everything.

No friends, or even other kids, but I guess he doesn’t know better.

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Ethan: I have decided from here on out that I’m going to be Good.

Oh, Dad is not really going to like that…

Tune in next time when Clark and Ethan probably spend a lot of time going person person minus minus.