Archive for the ‘Andy Breckman’ Category

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Ethan: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land!

You DO have a hammer.

Ethan: And I’m hammering in the morning!

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After several days living in the new house, I finally noticed the treasure chests. I’m very observant.

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Now Ethan updates the computer’s graphics, I guess by shoving a graphic card in the usb port.

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This happens all through out this chapter until I got tired of it not doing anything besides making people dance up and down, and finally disabled auto-light.  The Kents aren’t very flammable.

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Recognize the tired ghost?  Yep, it’s Thornton Wolff.

Thornton: I took my own death much more calmly than this fire.

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People who play with fire wet the bed, Charlene.

Charlene: Don’t you ask me about Old Lady Semple’s Social Security checks no more. CIBOLA! CIBOLA! Bumpity Bump!

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Maid to the rescue!

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And then he got overly pumped about it. It was quiet creepy.

Maid: I put out the fire! I AM SO FRICKING AWESOME!

Someone picked the wrong career I guess.

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Ethan and Lakisha bond over a game of chess.

Ethan: I will defeat you, burn you, and stick you in an urn!

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Lakisha: I will set you on fire.

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Lakisha: Then I will call all your friends and make them listen to your screams.

Maybe bond isn’t the right word.

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Surprisingly though, Ethan is a gracious loser.

Ethan: Good game, hon.

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Ethan: But this game will end with your hideous hairdo up in flames.

Or not.

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I think this chess board brings out the worst in people. In the pond right next to it, you can clearly see other victims of the cursed board.

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Late that night, someone deposited a package on the Kent doorstep.

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Clark: Hey Darlene! Did you order a baby from Amazon or something?

It’s your niece, Hungry Lyktha Wolff, Clark.

Clark: No, she’d be a teenager by now.

Hey, your guess is as good as mine on that one.

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Joey Jr: Hey you cheap bastard, why did you never buy us one of these when I was alive?

Yeah, you can walk through walls, go to the afterlife, explore anywhere you want, and you come and do this.

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Ethan sleeps with his mother! EWWWWW!

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Darlene: It’s nice having a little one in the house again! Don’t you ever grow up!

That’s a distinct possibility.

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Fortunately for Harley, the game notified us immediately the next morning it was Hungry’s birthday.

Harley: CAKE! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE!

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And Hungry finally reaches toddlerhood.

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She has the biggest eyes I have ever seen.

Hungry: The better to see you with.

I better not ask about her teeth.

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Looks like Ken asked instead.

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Hmm, what is Hungry enjoying so much?

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Of course, ghosts love video games.

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And now for the latest in the “Mummies Doing Modern Things” series, we have Mummy in a Race Car!

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Lakisha finally gets a promotion to Ghost Fashion Buster.

Lakisha: Your hat looks ridiculous. BANISH!

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Harley decides to make a meal for Hungry. In case you can’t tell, it’s Ambrosia.  Yeah, I know, quite an expensive meal for a toddler.

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Clark helps by grinding it into a disgusting looking paste.  While he’s doing that, someone “helpfully” lets Hungry out of her high chair.

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Clark: Then I’m not serving it! It’s all cold and ruined now.

I’m sure it will be fine.

Clark: No, I am putting it down here and refuse to do ANYTHING but clean it up by throwing it in the garbage.

In an unusual instance in solidarity, everyone else in the household also refuses to serve the rare lifefruit/deathfish dish to Hungry. I hate this game sometimes.

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Take two!

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This time, Harley turns the glowy pretty dish into a bowl of brown disgusting mush.

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Hungry: Yay! Food!

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Then Hungry got the 7 day moodlet for the best meal. Not the result I was hoping for. Sigh.

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Lakisha: Your hat is worse than the last one! BANISH! Oh, and Moe Howard, don’t you go anywhere.

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Lakisha: Your hair fills me with the urge to defecate! BANISH!

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Ethan: You know, I wish you’d wear your hair like that more often.

Lakisha: I thought you liked my do.

Ethan: That’s before I found out about the spiders living in it.

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Lakisha: You say the most romantic things, come here.

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Sigh, looks like I’m gonna be back up to eight household members again.

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The house is crowded enough with the random ghosts leaving me presents. Thanks for the rotten waffles, Gwen Glover, whoever you are!  (The spooky house came with like 4 random ghosts to go with the dead Breckmans and Kents I brought over.)

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Ethan, that game works better with two people.

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Lakisha: What’s with all the damn medieval three stooges fans in this town! BANISH!

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Ghosts: Hey, what did we do?

Lakisha: Nothing, but I have a quota.

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Lucky for the homeowner Lakisha can only banish ghosts, or she’d be on the list too.

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Lakisha: A caveman? What the heck happened here, did you die on the set of a Geico commercial?

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Joey also can’t figure out the proper way to use a foosball table. TWO PEOPLE. It’s not that hard.

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A rare family gathering in the living room.  Ethan and Clark have probably the fifth conversation they’ve had in their whole lives, while Darlene plays Madden. And of course, Hungry the Ghost eats  a doll!

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Ethan gives us a quick look at the level five science uniform before rushing off to work.

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In case you didn’t figure out by now. Lakisha is pregnant.

Lakisha: I wonder what it will be.

I bet it’s a baby. Actually, in this family, even that’s not a guarantee.

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On maternity leave, Lakisha looks hard for any ghosts she can bust on her free time.

Lakisha: None in the graveyard. Odd.

Well, it is Noon.

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Ethan, close to another promotion, asks his boss over.

Ethan: A SIMBOT!

Two hours sim time later, Harley and Ethan still would rather just go “A SIMBOT!” than invite their guest inside, so Luke “decided” to retire, and give Ethan a human boss.  Hey, he was 200, I felt he could use a break.

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Clark! What the heck are you doing!

Clark: I’m evil.

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting.

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Once again, this proves me theory that Germans love David… I mean Ghosts love Video Games.

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Lakisha: Hi, I’m married to your great grandson. I’m a ghost buster!

Andy: Urp.

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Lakisha: Now if you excuse me, I got to scan for ghosts. Nope, nothing.

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Lakisha: I shall discover a star!

It’s day time.

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Lakisha: Found one! I’ll put it down in my notebook.

I think that’s the sun. They paid her anyway.

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OH MY GOD! TWO PEOPLE ARE PLAYING FOOSBALL!

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Ethan: Like my new level six work outfit?

That’s the most ridiculous lab coat I’ve ever seen.

Ethan: Thank you!

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Charlene: I found a house here. Can I live here now?

Sure, fine by me.

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Would it kill you to clean up counter space in the kitchen?

Lakisha: Probably.

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Lakisha: Yum, macaroni and cheese!

And motor oil and saw dust.

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Clark: DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THAT TIME I FLEW IN A PLANE!

Charlene: Whatever, dad, I’m trying to do my homework.

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Charlene has a male caller!

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While Charlene answers the door, Lakisha goes into labor.

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In an attempt to screw up my screenshots, Lakisha picks the smallest room in the house to have her baby.

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Charlene: Hi, Rudolph.

Rudolph Goth: PANTIES!

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After being greeted by a teenage girl in her underwear, which has got to be some sign of interest, Rudolph opts for cake instead. I think he’s marriage material.

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And the heir is: A BOY! So the Kent name will continue another generation. Sigh. Out of frustration, I named him Kent Kent. He’s athletic and evil.  Have we found our first Emperor of Evil in the family?

I decided not to feed Gurton, so he’s dead now.

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Andy: No, he’s not, he’s right here!

OK, so I’m a little evil.

Joey Jr. joins her big (literally) sister in childhood by aging up like this:

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To go along with Virtuoso and Easily Impressed, J. J. becomes Good.

J. J.: Just great.

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The kids moving out of the nursery means it’s time to make the house bigger.

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J. J.: This trampoline is AWESOME!

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J. J.: NO WAIT IT’S NOT!

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Poor girl.

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So the girls go to bed in their brand new rooms.

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Where Beef Supreme no longer has to worry about being woken by her screaming brothers.

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Monk: I am NOT screaming, I am watching TV!

The history channel? Odd choice for a kid.

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B. S.: I made a house.

Well, that’s more symmetrical than your dad’s.

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J. J. invites Dewey Kent over after school, and the kids make their first friend.

J. J.: Let’s play tag!

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B. S.: Tag’s not really my thing…

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J. J.: Keep up!

B. S.: *dies*

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It’s Monk’s birthday!

Andy: Happy Birthday, the dishwasher’s broken, happy birthday the dishwasher’s broken, happy birthday, dishes are dirty, happy birthday the dishwasher’s broken.

OK, I’ll call the repairman.

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Monk: My hair is gone! And I’m now Neat.

Just like his TV namesake. He’s also Friendly, and Loves the Outdoors.

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And then they all went to play tag again.

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And Beef Supreme apparently likes to chase girls.  She’s a girl too, in case you forgot. I know I have.

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Monk: Since all my dad does is just paint all the time, I guess I have to clean up around here. POOP IN A CHAIR. UGH.

Andy: I’m making paintings for the family to sell when I’m gone. You’ll thank me later.

Monk: THAT’S MY LINE!

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It’s always someone’s birthday in the Breckman household.

B. S.: I wish I looked like a girl.

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B. S.: CAN IT GET ANY WORSE??

Just wait until adulthood! (Evil foreshadowing)

Anyway, to join her traits of Slob, Perceptive, Easily Impressed, she’s now Excitable.

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B. S.: Luke, am I pretty?

Luke: HI I AM THE SIMBOT THAT HAS BEEN HERE SINCE, I DONT KNOW, THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER.

Yeah, I forgot to introduce him. I don’t like him much.

Luke: I HEARD THAT.

So? I’m going to just talk about Andy, and pretend you don’t exist.

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Andy: I’m pregnant!

Sometimes it’s just food poisoning, Andy.

Luke: PLEASE TALK ABOUT ME, I AM SAD.

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OK, fine. So Luke got an opportunity to fix this lady’s shower.

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Luke: HERE IS YOUR SHOWER LADY, CAN I STAY THE NIGHT? I AM TIRED.

Lady: I don’t really know you, so no.

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Luke: LUKE SMASH!

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Pleasant little fellow, isn’t he.

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Home owner: Please leave.

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Gurton: Hi! It’s my birthday!

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Gurton: Oh yeah, I look good.

Gurton adds Light Sleeper to Athletic and Perceptive.

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And so the family sits down to eat their favorite (only?) dinner.

B. S.: I’m on my third piece.

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Video game time!

Monk: Why do we have wedding cake in our living room?

Because your dad is crazy.

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And more birthday cake!

J. J.: How many more times do we have to do this?

Too many.

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OK, this time is different.

Andy: Shiny.

B. S.: Not impressed.

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Take two.

J. J.: You know, when I was a child, being in my pjs wasn’t as awkward.

Joey: I CAN SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR.

Anyway, now Joey’s Hydrophobic.

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Luke seems to be getting along with the family.

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Or not.

Luke: I WONDER IF I SHALL HIT HIM WITH THIS WRENCH.

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I decided Luke needed a hobby.

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Gurton: This whale is so cool! Thanks, Luke!

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Now that the teens are older, they go over to other houses to make new friends.

J. J.: I see you have a guitar.

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J. J.: You get great acoustics in the bathroom.

Well one day Bill was walking along
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree
When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder
To set that kitty cat free
Bill said no, ain’t gonna do it
Ain’t gonna climb up no tree
This is a stupid stupid song and no folk singer
Gonna make a fool outa me

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Beef Supreme had a little less luck making friends.

Dewey’s mom: I’m about to hit this sack, when will this girl leave?

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B. S. works up enough courage to hug Dewey, but she really wants to kiss him.

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B. S.: Dewey, I just want you to know…

Dewey: It’s late, I think you should leave.

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B. S.: Can my night get any worse?

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Yeah, you could get arrested for breaking curfew.

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Let’s have another birthday, it’s been a whole ELEVEN screen shots since the last one.

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Monk is now also Frugal.

Monk: I wish my sister would put some pants on.

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Oh, yeah. Gonna have to agree with Monk on this one.

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You know we’re one birthday away from tying last time’s entry.

Gurton: Don’t I look good?

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Gurton: Oh, yeah, I’m handsome.

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Gurton: Must… work.. out.. so… not… to… look… like… Beef… Supreme…

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B. S.: Thanks dad for spending your rewards points on this!

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Gurton: Looking good, sis. You know you have to work out to keep that, right?

B. S.: Ugh, I knew there was a catch.

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One day, while painting…

Andy: Oh crap.

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The whole family mourns Andy at a weird, but spooky angle.

Death: I WAS GOING TO USE THE ALL CAPS THING, BUT LUKE STOLE IT FROM ME.

Joey: Oh well, at least I’ll get a ton of cash for his paintings at the consignment store.

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Joey: Oh crap.

I guess Luke will have to sell them instead.

Andy was 96 days old, and Joey was 90.

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Death: DO YOU LIKE MY OUTFIT?

Joey: No, not really.

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And so Andy and Joey were buried under a willow tree.

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Sorry Joey, I never got around to fulfilling your LTW.

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B. S.: Worst birthday ever.

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J. J.: Sorry I’m late, did I miss anything?

B. S.: Ow.

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B. S.: OH MY GOD ARE YOU SHITTING ME. NOT ONLY DID MY PARENTS BOTH DIE ON MY BIRTHDAY, BUT I AM A MUMMY???

At least you got to be the heir.

B. S.: Only because you decided before I was born, the first born would always be the heir!

True.

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B. S.: F this, I’m going to go eat cake. AGAIN.

Oh, yeah, you’re now a Vegetarian.

B. S.: *grumbles*

And so concludes…

Death: WAIT…

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Death: I AM IN YOUR YARD, KILLING YOUR NEIGHBORS LOL OMG WTF.

Just leave already.

As soon as Andy and Joey got home with Beef Supreme, they decided to celebrate.

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Be careful, Andy, you know what happened last time.

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Andy bonds with his new daughter.

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Andy: And you better not bring any elephants home!

Aren’t insane dads the best?

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Andy returns to consign a few paintings he did when he wasn’t leveling guitar or working, and was shocked to find a change.

Andy: You’re not Sofia!

It appears she finally retired.  She died not much longer, without us ever finding out why she decided to do her personal business on the town bridge.

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Joey (who is pregnant again) got a craving for waffles, making them the first meal ever cooked in the Breckman household.

Joey: We’re out of peanut butter.

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Andy: MAKING LOVE… OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL

Old Man: I hate Air Supply!

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Andy: I don’t believe it, not for a minute.. you’re under the gun so you take it on the run.

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And with that tip session, Andy finally got his LTW. And a nice framed certificate.

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Joey decided to start writing a Sci-Fi Novel. I think she got the idea from Andy’s mad conspiracy theories.

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One day, Joey was snuggling Beef Supreme when suddenly…

Joey: AHHHH… ANDY I NEED YOU!

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Andy: Zzz.

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Joey: *gives birth*

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Meet Joey Jr. Breckman.  And there’s Beef Supreme too. I have no idea who is who.

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Andy: I’m sorry I slept through labor.

Joey: That’s OK.

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Here we go again.

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The family, who apparently can’t afford car seats, call a cab for their first family trip.

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It’s a birthday party for Beef Supreme at the art museum!

Bunny Curious: I don’t know who this baby is, but this cake better be good.

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Time for the baby to age up!

Joey: HA HA, you’re going to get old!

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She has her daddy’s eyes.  And gender appearance.

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It’s also Andy’s birthday!

Andy: I’m all old, and my oldest kid is only a toddler…

Good luck seeing her have kids, Andy.

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Back home, Andy teaches Beef Supreme her first words.

Andy: Suitcase!

Beef Supreme: I think it’s actually an attaché case.

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Joey then teaches B. S. how to walk.

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And then she teaches her how to poop!

B. S.: I already knew how to poop, she’s teaching me where to put it.

Joey: This so belongs in the family album!

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Joey: Not again!

Andy: What do I do??

Maybe if you have 12 kids, you’d figure this out someday, Andy.

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It’s a boy, named Monk, after Andy’s favorite TV show!

Andy: We left the car behind again.

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Now it’s time for Joey Jr.’s birthday!

Andy: HA HA! You’re a baby!

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And there she is!  How’d Andy make something that cute?

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Joey: She’s all mine.

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Andy teaches Joey Jr. the basics, while Beef Supreme plays with her blocks.

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B. S.: NOM NOM NOM

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J. J.: NOM NOM NOM

OK, they’re their daddy’s kids all right.

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Andy: And you put your tinkle in the special chair!

J. J.: In a chair? OK, if you say so.  (Maybe I’ll ask Mommy later where I go, Daddy’s INSANE.)

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Don’t worry, Joey Jr., it looks like Mommy is totally on board with Daddy’s “Things that come out of you go in the special chair” plan.

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Andy: And this is how to get around without getting rug burns on your knees!

J. J.: This is pretty awesome!

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J. J.: Now I can carry weapons from one place to another!

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Joey: It’s baby tiime, Andy! Try not to screw it up this time!

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Meanwhile, Monk is aging up!  But where’s Andy?

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Andy: Look at all my cool stuff!

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Joey: 0 for 4, Andy.

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RUN ANDY RUN!

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Andy: CAN’T THIS THING GO ANY FASTER???

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Joey: You have a new son, Mr. Breckman.

Andy: I’m going to name him Gurton, after Gurton Buster on Psych.

Actually, his name is Burton Guster.

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Joey: Have I got a surprise for you.

Andy: HA HA! You left your clothes on the floor!

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Joey: I’m now an elder! No more babies ever!

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With three toddlers in the playroom, Andy gets to work on teaching Monk his skills.

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This dollhouse will be totally unusable by the time the kids are old enough to appreciate it.

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Another birthday. I think the fridge can’t hold any more cake.

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B. S.: Yay, I can finally age out of this gender neutral outfit, and people will know I’m a girl!

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B. S.: Or not.

Beef Supreme got the trait easily impressed.

B. S.: Do I look impressed?

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Beef Supreme bonds with her sister.

B. S.: And then we can dress Monk up like a girl, ‘cause that’s what older sisters do!

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Monk: You got to find me first!

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Andy! Congrats on making Rock Star!

Andy: Yeah, boss, I RETIRE!

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Andy celebrates retirement by doing all the drugs rock stars do, all at once!

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J. J.: YAY DADDY, HAPPY RETIREMENT!

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Monk: YAY DADDY!

Andy: I don’t know what bothers me more, my kids turning into monsters, or THE DAMN BABY WON’T SHUT UP!

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J. J.: YETIS ARE AWESOME!

Andy: This is the worst acid trip ever.

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Let’s conclude the chapter with Gurton’s birthday!

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And Gurton turns out to be the most like Andy, so far. Tune in next time, when I guess we feed Gurton.

Andy Breckman, former painter, continues his pursuit of a music career.

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Andy: Any one want a free baby, I bet he tastes good with lots of gravy…

That’s not your kid, you can’t give him away!

Andy: Nothing is as yummy as a baby in your tummy!

And yet the kid’s mother(?) seems to be having fun dancing to Andy’s tune.

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Wow, Andy’s actually working on that hygiene bar.

Andy: I got a hot date with one of my co-workers.

Is she blind or something?

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Wow, she’s normal looking.

Andy: I like her tattoos.

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This is Joey Garland. She’s a Workaholic, Artistic, Frugal, Genius, Inappropriate who’s LTW is to be a Renaissance Sim.

The two seemed to hit it off immediately.

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Andy: Are you single?

Joey: Depends, are you rich?

Andy: …

Joey: Kidding. Nope, I’m an adult who just happens to not be in a relationship at all.

(I wonder what’s wrong with her.)

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And then she suddenly kissed him.

That’s weird.

Andy: I don’t mind.

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Andy: Let’s go steady!

Joey: OK.

Feeling encouraged, Andy pushed it a little more…

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Andy: Will you marry me?

Didn’t you just invite this lady over an hour ago? Oh well, prepare to be laughed at.

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Joey: Of course I will!

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Andy: You’ve made me the happiest man ever.

I bet she’s gonna dump his body in a shallow grave and take his stuff…

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And so Andy set up the esplanade for the wedding. And he’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

Andy: I put on a shirt, what else do you want?

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It wouldn’t be a wedding without a fight!

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And so Andy and Joey got married.  In his running shorts.

Andy: Ha ha. I lied about the shirt.

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Playing for tips at your own wedding?

Andy: Thank you everybody, you’ve been a great audience! Good Night!

He made $1397.

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And so Andy finally christened his double bed.

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Andy gets new wheels for his job.

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Monkey-Lady is back!

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And then Monkey-Lady got slapped. I have no idea why.

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Joey: Guess who’s having a baby?

Andy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Joey: Yeah, great, I know.

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Joey: OK, this is not pleasant.

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Andy: What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?

Joey: Go get the car, genius.

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Andy, you forget anything?

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Joey: No, that’s ok, I’m fine.

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You’re such a gentleman, Andy.

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And so Joey drives to the hospital.

Yes, Joey.

Such a gentleman, Andy.

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It’s a girl!

Joey: Thanks. Andy named it Beef Supreme.

Beef Supreme?

Joey: I know. my reward for marrying an insane man.

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Back home they go, the new family of three.

Andy: I think we left our car at the hospital.

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And so closes another chapter. Good night, Beef Supreme!

It’s vacation time again.

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This time we’re off to China. As usual, Andy flew in his underwear. I guess it’s some kind of new security regulation to make sure people aren’t hiding any weapons.

Andy: Actually, they asked me to get dressed, but I refused.

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After changing into something slightly more appropriate, Andy decided to run a few tasks for the locals.

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This woman thought Andy looked like a giant teddy bear.

Andy: If you go out in the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You’d better go in disguise.

Cute Andy.

Andy: For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

Enough, Andy.

Andy:  PICNIC TIME FOR TEDDY BEARS…

QUIET ANDY!

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And so she gave him a new visa.

Andy: I’m gonna buy a tv, a stereo, an Xbox…

It’s not that kind of visa.

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They gave him a bicycle to ride in China.

Andy: Is this going to be a long story?

About the bike? No, that was it.

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Andy: Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. How did it come to this?

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I’m not sure if that speech is appropriate here Andy…

Andy: Oh.

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Back home again, Andy builds a display room for his vacation collection.

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Andy is glad to sleep again in his old NEW bed! He finally got enough money to build a proper bedroom, living room, bathroom, and nursery. (Just in case he ever decides to you know, get this legacy going.

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Yet he still spends most his time painting in the old house.

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Andy: I can fly!

Wha…

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Oh.  Andy, you might want to be careful there.

Andy: Come on, this is fun!

The next part happened so fast I couldn’t get a picture.

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Andy: Ow…

Told you so.

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Andy recovers from his accident by taking a bath.

Andy: A little privacy, please???

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This doesn’t look like the bathroom of a man that values privacy.

So Andy finally grows up to be a full adult. He throws a party, invites all his friends and prepares to entertain them.

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But a guest has grabbed his guitar.

Andy: That’s ok I got a spare.

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Or not.

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Cake time!

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Andy: I’m changing! I’m changing!

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Or not.

Overall, the party was kind of a dud. Next time I won’t invite a dozen elders.

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Having finished his painting career, Andy gets a job in the music career, and begins skilling guitar to finish the other half of his LTW (Max Guitar and Painting)

Andy: Hey back off dude, I was playing here first.

Insane Guitar Player: So, Bye, Bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levy, and then I had pie. And good old boys are  eating cake and pie, singing Boy I really sure do like pie…

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Pretty soon Andy’s good enough to play for tips.

Andy: Don’t get killed, Don’t get killed… (um, sir, please no candy wrappers.)

And that’s all we have for today. Tune in next time when we hear Andy say:

Andy: Did you just throw your chewing gum in my case?

Previously on GTKTLOTP… (OK, that abbreviation is so not working)

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Andy had just invited… um, Andy?

Andy: You may have wondered why I have gathered you all here today.

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Andy?

Andy: One of YOU is.. a KILLER!

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Andy, what are you doing?

Andy: Continuing the Agatha Christie mystery we were doing last time!

No. That’s not what happened… ugh, never mind. Let’s move on to this week.

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Remember when Andy got an opportunity to sell a painting in Al Simhara? No? Yes? Anything?

Andy: It’s hot here.

Well he decided this time he’d go ahead and do it.

Andy: I don’t like it. Can we go home now? I got sand in my bum.

Maybe you shouldn’t go everywhere in your underwear.

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Andy: So here’s your original Van Gogh lady, thanks for the money.

You didn’t tell me the opportunity was for a forgery!

Andy: You got a problem with that?

Not really. Carry on.

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Andy: Now that I’m in Egypt, I can play archie. archilog… Indiana Jones!

I think that’s just some tourist’s garbage.

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Time to chat up the locals.

Egyptian: I left some papers of mine in a dark scary dangerous old tomb filled with deadly traps. Can you get them for me?

Let’s go Andy!

Andy: Wait, what?

It’ll be easy. come on.

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Andy: Put the moony in the thingy…

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Andy: Pull the statue on the gear spot thingy…

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Andy: And open the glowy boxy thingy…

See I told you it was easy! (Damn, I was really hoping for some burning or mummies or something.)

Andy: YOU WANT ME DEAD!

No!! Well maybe just a little.

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Here we go! BIG SCARY PYRAMID!

Andy: Gulp.

MWAHAHA GO GET THE MAGIC FLAME FRUIT MORTAL!!

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Andy: Scary scary scary….

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Andy: That was easy.

Drat.

OK  Now we shall…

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Andy: Nice to be home in my own safe bed!

How’d you… never mind.

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Mwahaha  you just THOUGHT your home was safe.

Andy: (Oblivious)

Now how are you going to stop me, you mere little sim??

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Drat.

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So the painting’s really coming along now.

Andy: Yep. I gots me a lot of money from this and that.. deal… that went down in Egypt. And I know what just to buy!

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Andy: SLAVE LABOR!

Anne T. Septik: This… is the most… disgusting… *gulps back vomit* thing I’ve EVER cleaned.

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Andy: And I added a garage!

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You.. um.. got a way with architecture.

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Andy: I’m SINGin’ in the rain… just SINGin’ in the rain… what a marvelous feeling…

I’m puking again.

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Andy: Like my car?

No.

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Andy: Who cares what you think, the ladies love it!

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Yes, it looks like life is coming along nicely for the insane Mr. Breckman. He’s maxed his painting skill…

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And got an award for selling $25,000 worth of paintings.

Andy: I like pot.

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And he got himself a best friend!

Andy: You’re old.

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Andy: I”m tired and old dude is in my bed.

He has a name. It’s Lenny Smith-Jones.

Andy: Whatever, I’m sleeping with old dude.

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And so we’ll leave Andy, in the exact opposite situation of where we left him last time.  Good night Andy and Old Dude!

So when we last left Andy, he was selling paintings for cash so he could abuse his body more by making it its own canvas.  Let’s see what he’s doing today.

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Still painting.  You know you’re a real party animal, dude.

“Look, I painted a little boy fishing. You know what he’s fishing for? Compliments! I kill me!!!”

You’re certainly not getting any from me.

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So, you sold enough paintings for some new furniture, grats!

“Not enough for a TV. and I’m missing the new episode of Hank!”

Someone actually watched that? And should I tell him it’s off the air?

“NOOOO… at least I have Sons of Tucson…”

Yeah, you carry on, soldier.

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I must say your style of art is kind of, well, dull.

“I call this one Green.”

Yes, we all do. Well, except for those color blind people.

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What’s this one about?

“I call this one ‘The Inside of My Eyelids.”

How many times did you have to relook while doing it?

“652.”

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Ms. Sofia Carlton has gotten so used to Andy’s daily consignments that she seems to have grown fond of him.

“God, I hope that tattooed blue haired freak doesn’t come in here with his stupid pick-up lines again.”

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“Hey, baby, are you single?”

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I’ll go anywhere in the world to lose this shmuck…

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Andy: I just got paid today, got a pocket full of change, so how about we go to the Bistro?

Sofia: Every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man, so sure.

Actually I just want a free meal.

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Oh. My. God.  Did he just change into shorts??? I’m so embarrassed.

So ends Andy’s brief “romance” with Ms. Sofia.

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“I’ve been asked to impart my artistic wisdom to a whole audience of potential new fans!”

And who is at the mercy of Andy’s insane rantings?

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Oh, good Lord.  God help the next generation of Twinbrook. To make matters worse, every child in the building was Andy’s friend by the end of the day. Andy didn’t even have any “friends” before then.

The job even gave Andy a hefty wad of cash. What are you going to spend it on Andy?

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Why did I even ask?

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After living in his neighborhood in the middle of nowhere for several days now, Andy gets his first guest. It’s Dante Racket! (OK so he was originally named Bill but I re-named him in honor of that everyman who just wasn’t supposed to even be here.

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Andy sure knows how to keep his guests entertained.

“Shh. I’m painting something BRILLIANT!”

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That’s actually not bad Andy. I can tell what it is for a change.

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Another nice painting. Damn, how can I make fun of Andy if he doesn’t give me any material?

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YOUR TOILET IS DIRTY!

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“Really? I haven’t noticed. NOM NOM NOM”

I’m gonna be sick.

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Andy, are you actually chatting with a friend?

“Yeah, Alexa’s cool. I met her at the grade school. She’s awesome!”

I feel creeped out.

“Alexa, you want to come over?”

Really, Andy?

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“You’re not how I remember  how you were two days, ago, Alexa…. YOU ARE HOTTER!”

OK, I’ve had enough for one day. I’m leaving Lolita alone with Roman Polanski here, and we’ll continue this Police song later.

Andy: Don’t stand so.. Don’t stand so.. Don’t stand so close to me!